E IS FOR "EXPERIMENTAL BED 33"

That could really be the only reason for "E" afterall, to introduce a virgin audience to that sensational new serial crime thriller that has captivated fans numbering in the low single digits...

                                                  Experimental Bed 33

                                                             Chapter 1

                                              “Trace nutrients in Feeney’s pile”

Farmer Feeney was feeling expansive. He had risen with the chickens, he had a beautiful day shaping up, and gardening to do. He had mulching, dibbling, tomato stakliness and weedery on his agenda and the world was his salsify. Then he saw his compost heap emerge from the pre-dawn mist as he approached it and knew that the kohlrabi would have to wait.

"911" said a bored voice, "Is this an emergency?"

"You bet your broccoli it is!" Feeney said, "I found an old boot in my compost heap!"

"An old boot," said 911, "Can you hang on while I call the Feds? I'm not sure we have the assets to deal with this. A little early to be in the bag, isn't it, Pops?"

"It has an old foot in it!" said Feeney,

"Agghh!" said 911

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