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| AMM IN THE GREAT MAPLE TREE |
Every April May Maple's Eve before the sun goes down, far away in the Great Northern Maple Forest (specific location unknown but narrowed down to Vermont, New Hampshire or Maine) April May Maple climbs to the highest limbs of The Great Maple, the biggest maple tree in the world. From this vantage point she can see the whole planet (its the usual mystical holiday hoo-hah, just run with it) She looks for those bad people who have forgotten about AMME and who do not celebrate this most ancient (relatively speaking) of Holidays. She singles out a dozen of the worst offenders.
Those who have not grown maple seedlings to plant on April May Maple Eve go straight to the naughty list. No Molson delivery? Ditto. Not planning a pancake fest? No scraps of doggerel inscribed foolscap ready for performing? Not ready to bust some dance moves to "Magdalena"?? Guess what list YOU are on! (And by the way, if anyone ever serves Mrs Butterworth in lieu of 100% maple surple, well, there is a special spot in Mike Logan's Bog for you!) April May Maple puts on the traditional Holiday costume, making sure to have her cape on.
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| CAPON |
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| CAPE ON |
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| ALPO, KENNEL RATION AND THE SUGAR SLEDGE |
And gets down to business. Visiting all the houses on the naughty list she parks the sled around back...
Picks the lock on the side door...
Leaves a half dozen maple sugar candies by way of calling card...
And then on to the next stop, circling the world at supernatural holiday speed, especially for a sugar sledge and two bucket-footed draft horses.
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| DOGGERELLERS |
Meanwhile, darkness falls and the festive throngs begin to deploy, everywhere there are groups of doggerellers going house to house, declaiming horrid verse on the subject of Delilah's hemorrhoids, or extinct proto-elephants, or indeed on any topic whatsoever.
One of the beautiful things about AMME is no one ever has to stick to the plot.
Primarily because there really isn't one.
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| SUDS |
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| YUM! |
or a tower of syrup dripping pancakery, or perhaps pelted with empty beer cans, depending on the odiousness of their odes.
At midnight the maple seedlings are planted!
Sky lanterns released!
And the dancing begins, with Magdalena as the lead off tune!
Meanwhile, all dozen large flat screen tv's collected and candies distributed, and using the magic of Holiday Standard Timewarping (HST) April May Maple visits allllll the festive celebrations in turn, in disguise of course. AMM is looking for a dozen celebrants who are guzzling Molson with a will, packing pancakes into their yaps like a cannoneer ramming a powder charge home...
and generally getting into the spirit of the season.
AMM, mistress of disguise could be anyone in the crowd...
Anyone at all!
Yes, anyone!
But once the 12 best revelers are identified AMM runs a second 12 stop route, dropping off those slightly used and extremely hot large flat screen tv's at the homes of the revelers, to baffle and befuddle the lucky family when once the hangover wears off!
But once the 12 best revelers are identified AMM runs a second 12 stop route, dropping off those slightly used and extremely hot large flat screen tv's at the homes of the revelers, to baffle and befuddle the lucky family when once the hangover wears off!
Now isn't that a nice holiday?
I've been waiting for this. Keep writing Mac. and thanks for the ping too.!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, April May Maple gets her own holiday.
ReplyDeleteAnd where did you find a teenage pic of me eating chicken in a German beer tent?? (just kidding)
Yw, Mike!
ReplyDeleteAlex looking at your (or whoever's) pic again, it kinda looks like a size evaluation is also being made. Amazing how these things just spin off plots right and left...
My goodness, but we do know how to have fun, but I think I might be on the naughty list for I've been weeding maple seedlings--not big enough to be called saplings yet-- out of my flower beds all day. Pity, I could use a capon, a cape on and a dance or two.
ReplyDeleteOh, and one more thing: That the Macarena, you silly!
ReplyDeleteOh, oh! Someone should have clicked the link before calling the old blogmeister silly!
ReplyDeleteI can't breathe... seriously.... I think I am dying.... hahah.... I haven't laughed this hard in my entire life.....
ReplyDeleteI know, right? Hysterical stuff. Almost as good as the Glory scale.
DeleteMac, this is a very cool holiday with a very hot reason to celebrate! GREAT POST, Mac! Unique, hilarious, interesting, and besides, April May is a very cool photographer and I like maple trees, I have sugar maples, the kind you need to make April May Maple Surple !
ReplyDeleteApril it was fun to write and speculate about this Holiday, and I'm glad you had fun with it too!
ReplyDeleteDid you make any syrup Ray? I have perhaps 4 times and while it is time consuming it is enjoyable, and it is always surprising to me when the end product is real surple, and quite good. I've taken it down to maple sugar lever too, which is tricky.
Dam this really SHOULD be a holiday!
Wow... April, you sure are a lucky girl. Someday.... someday you are going to have a holiday after you. At this rate, yep.
ReplyDeleteMac - wonderful post. Entertaining and hilarious.
Oh, that was too fun, Mac! Thanks for the cute story and crazy pics. Too hot for this holiday where I live, I'm sure, but can I be an honorary celebrant, please? Happy Thursday to you!
ReplyDeleteWarning people for next year in my latest episode of Blogging Destinations: http://mjjoachim.blogspot.com/2012/05/blogging-destinations-episode-2.html
ReplyDeleteAlways welcome, MJ! You can always wash down pancakes with molson, that's close enough for this less than regimented holiday. :0)
ReplyDeleteMac, this is an update on maple syrup making, you can remove a lot of the water from maple sap by freezing it and removing the ice. That process doesn't leave good-tasting syrup though, it still has to be heated, maybe something to do with the carmelization of sugar? It does, however, save a lot of boiling. We successfully made syrup from white birch (paper birch) also--very good! This year we should have sap from our own maple trees, can't wait! ":)
ReplyDelete2013 !! AMME! Let the festivities begin, Mac! Maple Syrup,pancakes, doggerellish yodeling, partaking of April May Beer (AMB ) that special brew, and Maple tree-planting for all!
ReplyDeleteOf course
DeleteOne question, must it be Molson? What with so many beers to choose from...just saying.
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