Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Best butts in Buttzville: August 24th, 2013

Because you never know who might be there.

Perhaps a couple of ol' buttinskis. August 24th, make a note.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Where will this butt be on August 24th, 2013?

In Buttzville New Jersey for the second annual best butts in Buttzville competition? Nobody knows!

But can we take the chance?

August 24th, 2013. Butt me no butts!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Sophie Turner could already be a winner!

Will Sophie Turner be in Buttzville, NJ on August 24th, 2013 for the second annual "Best Butts in Buttzville" mega event?

Probably not.

But we can't possibly know this for certain, can we?

So lets all make sure to be there, just in case.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Holiday alert!

Sadly, April May Maple's Eve has come and gone and what is there to live for, in a holiday sense?

It's a long wait until August 24th, but we all know what happens then. The unincorporated Village of Buttsville in western New jersey unwittingly hosts the 2nd annual "Best Butts in Buttzville" contest.

Be there, or you know what you are!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Holiday Alert!


The evening to morning of April 30 to May 1 is that most looked forward to of all the Holidays!


Don't miss out on the fun and hijinks! An overview of traditional AMME lore is available to you few forgetful folk right HERE! 

Monday, January 28, 2013

The Agony of Aunt Agnes, and her triumphant harvest song

We dug the bed we planted seeds

and performed a lot of tiresome gardenin' deeds.

But Y'all can't tell with veggies,

They jist might get et by weeds!

So give us all a signal if our gardenin' work succeeds!


Oh tie a yeller turnip to the old oak tree,*
One jist ain't enough, better make it three!
When Ah sees yeller turnips on the old oak tree
Ah gits out the pot,
Gits thuh water real hot,
And dance around in glee**
And we's be eating turnips from that old oak tree!!
*Ok. So it's an ash tree. It's called "poetic license".
**Not a sight for the faint of heart.
The further antics of Aunt Agnes, Farm Girl, Uncle Mac, Leatherface, Jack the Ripper, Millie Quackenbush, Nero, Dire, Blinky, Mrs. BobKat and the others may be followed at UNCLE MAC'S GARDEN SHED. (You could enjoy even more of the above! 

Friday, January 18, 2013

Uhhh, what?


Questions without answers
There’s a bridge that crosses o’er a stream,
connecting parking lot with deli.
Where wondrous hot dishes steam
And Limburgers are exceeding smelly.
Each day as I cross this span,
Chill waters gurgle underneath.
Alert, the roiling flood I scan,
For the trolls which surely lurk beneath.

They clutch unwitting bagel seekers,
And drag them to the depths below.
They steal their wallets, and their sneakers,
and show them where the wild geese go.
Then launch them in a foamy geyser,
to land disheveled on the shore.
A good deal sadder (but no wiser),
to flee, and to return no more

I know the secret of these trolls,
and so each day I toss a coin.
To where the foamy water rolls,
and thus the sodden wights enjoin.
To answer questions by the ton,
Which plague me as I strive for sleep
What’s the square root of minus one?
And how does it relate to sheep?
Should one wake a sleeping dog?
When calm and peaceful it lies napping?
Can you digitize an analog?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?

If a tree within a forest falls when just one soul's around,
And that poor soul proves to be deaf and cannot hear a sound
will there be sound, or sound unheard, or, I further query;
A unique sequence of events which validate string theory?
No answer do I e’er receive from moist and churlish troll,
thus to the deli man I wend, and buy a buttered roll.
And a coffee large in size, no sugar, extra cream,
and turn and toss another coin and cross again the stream.

Dear friend I must advise you; should you chance upon this deli,
To merely pause a moment, buy some eats to fill your belly,
Toss a coin to calm the trolls, and keep you safe and dry
But don’t ask them any questions ‘cause they never do reply.

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