tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44649581883232424232024-02-18T18:47:33.477-08:00Seeds and WeedsMac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-53500286738552699492021-06-18T09:59:00.000-07:002021-06-18T09:59:15.715-07:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMVuhV0mveLA631jmt866-DzdGBguOi98-TYV4GZmboSoijjGuDIg7D06u1DGFU9Br_nKm0V9Xyf8zQ4STkbUcK0hrTBkRz07h-8yypASDImcbJPI8gRjUV_8g_1daM-YMGjZHQ5QV4TVi/s259/fa718f96426f5e38ccdcf8c824c2b68f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="235" data-original-width="259" height="581" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMVuhV0mveLA631jmt866-DzdGBguOi98-TYV4GZmboSoijjGuDIg7D06u1DGFU9Br_nKm0V9Xyf8zQ4STkbUcK0hrTBkRz07h-8yypASDImcbJPI8gRjUV_8g_1daM-YMGjZHQ5QV4TVi/w640-h581/fa718f96426f5e38ccdcf8c824c2b68f.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b>YES, THERE IS A BUTTZVILLE!</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">And on Saturday, August 28th, 2021 there will be hijinks and tomfoolery, not to mention much fun in Buttzville, New Jersey It's the annual "Best Butts in Buttsville Competition", known worldwide for it's cheeky antics.<br /><br />Will Australian supermodel Sophie Turner be butting in on the festivities? <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKCyfcNI6vvT4d-Dsouo5FYOZfSdnJGAfYTKmn3CBctT49MB3YZzRegn4Begq8Dr0BO0kA5mIsPrJ8RnJzrm_wCbOyVW-Bm3F10Z1cEZZdHhHW4YWDwsqcCk1Un0Opx1VOlROJgFAGkE8X/s1399/sophie_turner_leathe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1399" data-original-width="964" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKCyfcNI6vvT4d-Dsouo5FYOZfSdnJGAfYTKmn3CBctT49MB3YZzRegn4Begq8Dr0BO0kA5mIsPrJ8RnJzrm_wCbOyVW-Bm3F10Z1cEZZdHhHW4YWDwsqcCk1Un0Opx1VOlROJgFAGkE8X/w442-h640/sophie_turner_leathe.jpg" width="442" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNYuuG-nEyvZSqb5d_dCnMjjlhDqBcos8Jr1dlMEuWd_XQjWyJwQoTH-jCyriD-cHaD57uUJbVNXI4Qyc2FxxsnjVde5qz7maZc_YhZpmhYSv5Q-fmVNSUlL9_9-yjDUFUJIBs0t6bDQx/s275/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="275" data-original-width="183" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLNYuuG-nEyvZSqb5d_dCnMjjlhDqBcos8Jr1dlMEuWd_XQjWyJwQoTH-jCyriD-cHaD57uUJbVNXI4Qyc2FxxsnjVde5qz7maZc_YhZpmhYSv5Q-fmVNSUlL9_9-yjDUFUJIBs0t6bDQx/w426-h640/images.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU-ZriNuO9_LCvxGDq358XsZQfFKVLMyPG6sWTkH-qyhlDf8E2LsdzuczdYUTuIEhQyQuMrscp5SEgMBvDEkCFiE-OAj0G5KdABr5qsM6aHjIzyXQuD8Iuwks_dhNF7k9QSeg9tWf3tgpJ/s1200/14-15-gthumb-gwdata1200-ghdata1200-gfitdatamax.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU-ZriNuO9_LCvxGDq358XsZQfFKVLMyPG6sWTkH-qyhlDf8E2LsdzuczdYUTuIEhQyQuMrscp5SEgMBvDEkCFiE-OAj0G5KdABr5qsM6aHjIzyXQuD8Iuwks_dhNF7k9QSeg9tWf3tgpJ/w426-h640/14-15-gthumb-gwdata1200-ghdata1200-gfitdatamax.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipvHLQ5qagk3JYtsbQGHpKIf7eKdG34YzFyalLYGewF23EL2tw8bHoXJogc_w7lETOgOEGikS6Q3X4voSoVZkHJDrdnTOng6YnB7b7QsWs1o8QTV0eQ1AUof2Xpp2ppKl_xcryh1THuIOw/s945/6db365a5b7c5544581017ef7274bcb52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="945" data-original-width="630" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipvHLQ5qagk3JYtsbQGHpKIf7eKdG34YzFyalLYGewF23EL2tw8bHoXJogc_w7lETOgOEGikS6Q3X4voSoVZkHJDrdnTOng6YnB7b7QsWs1o8QTV0eQ1AUof2Xpp2ppKl_xcryh1THuIOw/w426-h640/6db365a5b7c5544581017ef7274bcb52.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">The only way to find out is to be there yourself! So bring your butt to Buttsville, NJ, </span><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Saturday August 28th and get to the bottom of the matter!</span></span></div><p></p>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-4061561882296579222021-03-23T21:44:00.002-07:002021-03-23T21:44:58.140-07:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWliHQ6R3uyxgjzQhHwiV-zkAFhcgnca7ByDovruAVBTec94X1Atp7LmHeWmEnFS8oNa-HMbla1sCPKEqbVm-zhzLqXPwdoEsjJxvq4A_vhaOhlAofbWQbAz1xSl6w69S-kN_sOlDfFMFL/s1124/71fObwwhN2L._SL1124_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1124" data-original-width="782" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWliHQ6R3uyxgjzQhHwiV-zkAFhcgnca7ByDovruAVBTec94X1Atp7LmHeWmEnFS8oNa-HMbla1sCPKEqbVm-zhzLqXPwdoEsjJxvq4A_vhaOhlAofbWQbAz1xSl6w69S-kN_sOlDfFMFL/w446-h640/71fObwwhN2L._SL1124_.jpg" width="446" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p><br /></p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">John Holmes is dead, but I have heard it said,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">He used to walk the nude beach getting tanned,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">He'd shoot the crowd a moon,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Then amble 'cross each dune,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Behind him leaving three tracks in the sand.</div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Poor John is dead, a casket for his bed,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">But rigor mortis settled in his hose,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">In the lid we'll bore a hole,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">And through it thread his pole,</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Or else we'll never get the damned thing closed.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-45013834816637655902021-02-14T12:54:00.003-08:002021-02-14T13:03:33.212-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9BF5BOPR8TQjD0ps0r3l_GRT-i6qLBcRFnBepXVcOEGIoZp4ad5GO-9IovFNjqIXNeJty3KXCW7UZ2zikgqauzjGICCDa8SEZ3pT-TEmkiYIT0cJyitjO4zfFDW0iW9GWiwjoUVhNTpS/s1024/schrordingerscat_topic_1024.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="1024" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9BF5BOPR8TQjD0ps0r3l_GRT-i6qLBcRFnBepXVcOEGIoZp4ad5GO-9IovFNjqIXNeJty3KXCW7UZ2zikgqauzjGICCDa8SEZ3pT-TEmkiYIT0cJyitjO4zfFDW0iW9GWiwjoUVhNTpS/w640-h261/schrordingerscat_topic_1024.webp" width="640" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">SCHRODINGER'S CAT</span></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>When 'ere I'm reminded of Schrodinger's cat,</b></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>I cannot but wonder where the wee fellow's at.</b></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b>Is he locked in the box and thus cattily bitchin'?</b></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><b><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21;">Or is he at large, lapping cream in the kitchen?<br /><br /></span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21;">Is he digging a cat-hole out back by the fence?</span></b></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><div class="q9uorilb bvz0fpym c1et5uql sf5mxxl7" style="display: inline-block; max-width: calc(100% - 26px); overflow-wrap: break-word; vertical-align: middle;"><div><div class="b3i9ofy5 e72ty7fz qlfml3jp inkptoze qmr60zad rq0escxv oo9gr5id q9uorilb kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x d2edcug0 jm1wdb64 l9j0dhe7 l3itjdph qv66sw1b" style="background-color: var(--comment-background); border-radius: 18px; box-sizing: border-box; color: var(--primary-text); display: inline-block; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word; position: relative; word-break: break-word;"><div class="tw6a2znq sj5x9vvc d1544ag0 cxgpxx05" style="padding: 8px 12px;"><div class="ecm0bbzt e5nlhep0 a8c37x1j" style="padding-bottom: 4px; padding-top: 4px;"><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id" color="var(--primary-text)" dir="auto" style="display: block; line-height: 1.3333; max-width: 100%; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word;"><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql" style="margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><b><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span color="var(--primary-text)" style="background-color: var(--comment-background);">Or </span><span>hanging by tail from a tree in suspense?</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;">Is he live? Is he dead?</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;">Is he single or wed?</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"> Has he kittens or not? <span> </span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;">Is he cold? Is he hot?</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"> <span>I believe he's just fine, and not dead as I'd feared,</span><span> </span><span> </span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span> But that Schrodinger guy? He is just flippin' weird!</span><span> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div></div></b></div></span></div></div></div></div></div></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><div class="q9uorilb sf5mxxl7 pgctjfs5" style="display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: middle; width: 22px;"><div class="no6464jc pedkr2u6" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 11px; opacity: 1;"><span class="tojvnm2t a6sixzi8 abs2jz4q a8s20v7p t1p8iaqh k5wvi7nf q3lfd5jv pk4s997a bipmatt0 cebpdrjk qowsmv63 owwhemhu dp1hu0rb dhp61c6y iyyx5f41" style="align-items: inherit; align-self: inherit; display: inherit; flex-direction: inherit; flex: inherit; font-family: inherit; height: inherit; max-height: inherit; max-width: inherit; min-height: inherit; min-width: inherit; place-content: inherit; width: inherit;"><div aria-expanded="false" aria-haspopup="menu" aria-label="Edit or delete this" class="oajrlxb2 gs1a9yip g5ia77u1 mtkw9kbi tlpljxtp qensuy8j ppp5ayq2 goun2846 ccm00jje s44p3ltw mk2mc5f4 rt8b4zig n8ej3o3l agehan2d sk4xxmp2 rq0escxv nhd2j8a9 pq6dq46d mg4g778l btwxx1t3 pfnyh3mw p7hjln8o kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x tgvbjcpo hpfvmrgz jb3vyjys rz4wbd8a qt6c0cv9 a8nywdso l9j0dhe7 i1ao9s8h esuyzwwr f1sip0of du4w35lb lzcic4wl abiwlrkh p8dawk7l dwo3fsh8 pzggbiyp pkj7ub1o bqnlxs5p kkg9azqs c24pa1uk ln9iyx3p fe6kdd0r ar1oviwq l10q8mi9 sq40qgkc s8quxz6p pdjglbur" role="button" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; align-items: stretch; appearance: none; background-color: transparent; border-bottom-color: var(--always-dark-overlay); border-left-color: var(--always-dark-overlay); border-right-color: var(--always-dark-overlay); border-style: solid; border-top-color: var(--always-dark-overlay); border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline-flex; flex-basis: auto; flex-direction: row; flex-shrink: 0; font-family: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; min-height: 0px; min-width: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: inherit; touch-action: manipulation; user-select: none; vertical-align: bottom; z-index: 0;" tabindex="0"><i class="hu5pjgll m6k467ps sp_jw-O2KCx1jr sx_efdb6b" style="background-image: url("/rsrc.php/v3/yP/r/tnXB0NjU7w2.png"); background-position: 0px -798px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; display: inline-block; filter: var(--filter-secondary-icon); height: 16px; text-align: center; vertical-align: -0.25em; width: 16px;"></i><div class="s45kfl79 emlxlaya bkmhp75w spb7xbtv i09qtzwb n7fi1qx3 b5wmifdl hzruof5a pmk7jnqg j9ispegn kr520xx4 c5ndavph art1omkt ot9fgl3s" data-visualcompletion="ignore" style="border-radius: 50%; font-family: inherit; inset: -8px; opacity: 0; pointer-events: none; position: absolute; text-align: center; transition-duration: var(--fds-duration-extra-extra-short-out); transition-property: opacity; transition-timing-function: var(--fds-animation-fade-out);"></div></div></span></div></div></span></div><div class="j83agx80 bvz0fpym c1et5uql" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: flex; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; max-width: calc(100% - 26px); overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div class="_680y" style="display: inline-flex; font-family: inherit; max-width: 100%; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;"><div class="_6cuy" style="flex: 1 1 auto; font-family: inherit; min-width: 0px; width: 260px;"><div class="e72ty7fz qlfml3jp inkptoze qmr60zad q9uorilb tvmbv18p d2edcug0 ni8dbmo4 stjgntxs l9j0dhe7 sf5mxxl7 kvgmc6g5" style="border-radius: 18px; display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-top: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow: hidden; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;"></div></div></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><div class="q9uorilb bvz0fpym c1et5uql sf5mxxl7" style="display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; max-width: calc(100% - 26px); overflow-wrap: break-word; vertical-align: middle;"><div style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="b3i9ofy5 e72ty7fz qlfml3jp inkptoze qmr60zad rq0escxv oo9gr5id q9uorilb kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x d2edcug0 jm1wdb64 l9j0dhe7 l3itjdph qv66sw1b" style="background-color: var(--comment-background); border-radius: 18px; box-sizing: border-box; color: var(--primary-text); display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow-wrap: break-word; position: relative; word-break: break-word;"><div class="tw6a2znq sj5x9vvc d1544ag0 cxgpxx05" style="font-family: inherit; padding: 8px 12px;"><div class="ecm0bbzt e5nlhep0 a8c37x1j" style="font-family: inherit; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-top: 4px;"><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id" color="var(--primary-text)" dir="auto" style="display: block; font-family: inherit; font-size: 0.9375rem; line-height: 1.3333; max-width: 100%; min-width: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-word;"><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></span></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="j83agx80 bvz0fpym c1et5uql" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: flex; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; max-width: calc(100% - 26px); overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div class="_680y" style="display: inline-flex; font-family: inherit; max-width: 100%; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;"><div class="_6cuy" style="flex: 1 1 auto; font-family: inherit; min-width: 0px; width: 260px;"><div class="e72ty7fz qlfml3jp inkptoze qmr60zad q9uorilb tvmbv18p d2edcug0 ni8dbmo4 stjgntxs l9j0dhe7 sf5mxxl7 kvgmc6g5" style="border-radius: 18px; display: inline-block; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-top: 0px; max-width: 100%; overflow: hidden; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;"></div></div></div></div>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-52466025776597528752020-05-27T15:18:00.002-07:002020-08-31T13:39:37.804-07:00Brussels Sprouts!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDq5Q1Ya0yhyphenhyphenNmgnkleSjohhlBkt8S8RdPgI2y39qQ9zfSkC0FjSluqyI-KdXZZ-yca0J33ulZOn6_uI53ZgUSuqFcYHo7OqoOdx33vc6KKGUES9Jv3mqw7q88wOFXQ0uT7RTL0e4wwd0k/s1600/MayDayDoggy.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="680" data-original-width="1020" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDq5Q1Ya0yhyphenhyphenNmgnkleSjohhlBkt8S8RdPgI2y39qQ9zfSkC0FjSluqyI-KdXZZ-yca0J33ulZOn6_uI53ZgUSuqFcYHo7OqoOdx33vc6KKGUES9Jv3mqw7q88wOFXQ0uT7RTL0e4wwd0k/s400/MayDayDoggy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span face="" style="font-size: large;"><b>SPROUTS FROM BRUSSELS!<br /></b></span><span face=""><span style="font-size: small;"><br />Don't you just love 'em? I know I do!<br /><br />SPROUTS<br /><br />Brussels sprouts for breakfast, Brussels sprouts for lunch,<br />Sprouties served with iced champagne to make the perfect brunch!<br />Boiled and drowned in butter, or juiced to make a punch,<br />Brussels sprouts the tasty treat that I just love to munch!<br /><br />Now I love to have a pet around but not a cat or dog,<br />Don't want no flop-eared bunny, or fat pot bellied hog.<br />My sprout plant does not need a walk and never gives me fleas,<br />Just lots of tender Brussels sprouts and I call her Louise!<br /><br /></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik-GpTq-qBNg6UDey4jNqHRk8qPgXub-c3oT0UkE1fhJd4a-hgIEszqSQDNxV1cvGbHaeKnbwHqkMfU9ygEhM7HjRrhMOoxsPXk9XtyTjPrFmrlVFM1w9q2L2g1finGu-DZyzsgK_TV8GD/s1600/sprout.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="474" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik-GpTq-qBNg6UDey4jNqHRk8qPgXub-c3oT0UkE1fhJd4a-hgIEszqSQDNxV1cvGbHaeKnbwHqkMfU9ygEhM7HjRrhMOoxsPXk9XtyTjPrFmrlVFM1w9q2L2g1finGu-DZyzsgK_TV8GD/s320/sprout.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span face="" style="font-size: large;"><b>LOUISE! (AND FRIENDS)</b></span><br />
<span face="" style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span face=""><span style="font-size: small;">Sprouties by the bowl full, sprouties by the plate,<br />I'd like to have a buck for every Brussels sprout I've ate.<br />When I take my final dirt bath, just so there are no doubts...<br />Plant me in a steamer trunk well packed in Brussels sprouts<br /><br />And that should be more than enough of that.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span face=""></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><b></b><span face=""></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><span face=""></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><b></b><span face=""></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-3594042628649502442019-03-09T15:14:00.000-08:002019-03-10T08:34:03.844-07:00Weenies!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3nJRgpJus16c3wKI7PTgnJFrAMx5wH2k6dp4EwUvR1rXfieM_pusYoObZrXTa5oNRQ3ZBQfoysUuB43YuLtTxVOztMKu1PHRHIhYlc-RRxDF8X1jCvvdcjcUvGqfUsj4mfRmxK9RnhLCM/s1600/hot-dogs-in-chennai1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="713" data-original-width="1200" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3nJRgpJus16c3wKI7PTgnJFrAMx5wH2k6dp4EwUvR1rXfieM_pusYoObZrXTa5oNRQ3ZBQfoysUuB43YuLtTxVOztMKu1PHRHIhYlc-RRxDF8X1jCvvdcjcUvGqfUsj4mfRmxK9RnhLCM/s400/hot-dogs-in-chennai1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b> THE TUBULAR STEAK</b></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><b></b><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">YUM!</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I'm gonna have some weenies,</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> Right this very minute.</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> Gonna grease a pan and fry some weenies in it!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #009000;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">And if I don't get too flustered</span></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><b></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; float: none; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">There will be some kraut and mustard</span></span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;">An<span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; display: inline; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">d possibly some cheese<br style="display: inline;" /> (Hear my arteries yellin' "Please!")<br style="display: inline;" /> And I may just do some butterin'<br style="display: inline;" />To get my doctor mutterin'<br style="display: inline;" /> Gonna have some weenies now!</span></span></span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="color: #009000;"></span><span style="color: black;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-45796393693555349052018-08-27T13:54:00.000-07:002018-08-27T14:08:34.059-07:00Are you ready for "Best Butts in Buttzville" day?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWQrsvboNxD8pnpbWUtJfcsNnlSwqkT0uZzLw7Pdjf449E7CgRQix243nAPvBhDScySqXTrSHbX578cH9jDL4whz1QsnVGe7Cndce3vbAikKt5gX16qxk36nexJ7tGw62sTU21WIhQAP1/s1600/buttzville_NJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="236" data-original-width="259" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWQrsvboNxD8pnpbWUtJfcsNnlSwqkT0uZzLw7Pdjf449E7CgRQix243nAPvBhDScySqXTrSHbX578cH9jDL4whz1QsnVGe7Cndce3vbAikKt5gX16qxk36nexJ7tGw62sTU21WIhQAP1/s400/buttzville_NJ.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">OF COURSE IT'S A REAL PLACE!</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A Best Butts in Buttzville celebration falls on the first Saturday following August 27th unless August 27th itself is a Saturday in which case the 27th is the Holiday.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi3qEFXI1E4-KhT2eNni2wx0t-WPjsNEIFr295gGKFOwR89UjRt3oJzT2zdYIoZAuD9WxdJSlFUgl9NPjwk3i3VuDvlSaCuCM_FVlC4RvOjQhfvQCLOoY3mIuxqgMAdobz6kDuAvbZZ0sv/s1600/butt+%2528sack%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This year the great event falls on September 1.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It takes place in the unincorporated town of Buttzville, in groovy western New Jersey. It may be reached from routes 46, 31 and I-80.</span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The town features a hot dog stand,</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyniy-LyA2Z14GlC1od0EcDLve1xoJu6lR_6DTj0N-Qt413C35bgFSNuD1eLtQW59-4R12v66eA4PJC98kijbImB-hVXZgPP9xIYdxS_FfE28PnycTPimSlMe8xjR_FRQEUmUvL5Hfs8r/s1600/large_IMG_0063.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="339" data-original-width="453" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyniy-LyA2Z14GlC1od0EcDLve1xoJu6lR_6DTj0N-Qt413C35bgFSNuD1eLtQW59-4R12v66eA4PJC98kijbImB-hVXZgPP9xIYdxS_FfE28PnycTPimSlMe8xjR_FRQEUmUvL5Hfs8r/s400/large_IMG_0063.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>THAT'S IT</b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-size: small;"></span><b></b><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And a post office,</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgStlEu7D7lupznA1V_3A_n7iXLzQr9FfJ-x5k-6LcDL9W-iyP1Kq9ndSDdM4ovyM-v2LmP1ug35pKNAVH6Wi8iitskGmz9qRlq21pQlr-w-h51aWgjCBXI5gmEKo2AaJbPwJsHza_S4VPm/s1600/49440444.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgStlEu7D7lupznA1V_3A_n7iXLzQr9FfJ-x5k-6LcDL9W-iyP1Kq9ndSDdM4ovyM-v2LmP1ug35pKNAVH6Wi8iitskGmz9qRlq21pQlr-w-h51aWgjCBXI5gmEKo2AaJbPwJsHza_S4VPm/s400/49440444.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>USED TO BE A GAS STATION</b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-size: small;"></span><b></b><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And not one whole heck of a lot more. Except for lots of great butts in late summer.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is a rumor that Kim Kardashian has her Christmas cards mailed from this office, just for the post mark but I cannot confirm this.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The day itself<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> is an unabashed celebration of the worlds greatest butts.</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj64W7RXWYz5ER4rjbWkV8FjCdDtNx1kKLELPJGzd4Ya0EOwsnWb0nhMmyyKezu_ic0AEnD7Lf27-fFO8K_xq0ZG6sjpWawE16rYtwXXdny-ZV3kwWRKRa15sjtlqb7xqygIFGceHfifpyo/s1600/butt+%2528sack%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="405" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj64W7RXWYz5ER4rjbWkV8FjCdDtNx1kKLELPJGzd4Ya0EOwsnWb0nhMmyyKezu_ic0AEnD7Lf27-fFO8K_xq0ZG6sjpWawE16rYtwXXdny-ZV3kwWRKRa15sjtlqb7xqygIFGceHfifpyo/s400/butt+%2528sack%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>NOOOOOOO!</b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not a sackbutt although I'm sure if one were to show up everyone would be pleased to see a Renaissance era saxophone. </span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But the founders had this sort of butt in mind.</span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpcp4oJwJI2q4FflJUteEMi9YXG8RtYvFeH8WD9En7xnR4mHZE-ntVigCVCvISSIfmGdcmFp1i2yIsTrj0yaNn3UA2XNmH5SLbnZU9HcxK1-ZSJTmWu10lFx8cVXwc7TxhxRTmV0fKYmQz/s1600/best-butt-in-the-world-030710-lg-42353108.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="571" data-original-width="460" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpcp4oJwJI2q4FflJUteEMi9YXG8RtYvFeH8WD9En7xnR4mHZE-ntVigCVCvISSIfmGdcmFp1i2yIsTrj0yaNn3UA2XNmH5SLbnZU9HcxK1-ZSJTmWu10lFx8cVXwc7TxhxRTmV0fKYmQz/s320/best-butt-in-the-world-030710-lg-42353108.jpg" width="257" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">YIKES!</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes that is correct. It seems peculiar that this tiny backwater community would host the worlds foremost celebration of attention grabbing glutes but this is in fact the case. Come and see for yourself!</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just don't bring these!</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRiu0BE0HKtLYvjA08omOeNmYfB_0wLIekEDWsSy6TDDLYgr_lxCa0PuI6GMWFwl63Hz2ILfE7MVWC3e7eBhKAkUYiu9vv06xSdkUIPIMZk_lmTgKnanIZxmIu3fddIi-40vSrobhyThoD/s1600/cigarette-butts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRiu0BE0HKtLYvjA08omOeNmYfB_0wLIekEDWsSy6TDDLYgr_lxCa0PuI6GMWFwl63Hz2ILfE7MVWC3e7eBhKAkUYiu9vv06xSdkUIPIMZk_lmTgKnanIZxmIu3fddIi-40vSrobhyThoD/s320/cigarette-butts.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>YUCK!</b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;"></span><b></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">None of these are welcome, although I'm sure folks will litter . Some people just can't help themselves.</span></div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFdPEJfVbqqFnHD63TAzLDHNEWML3XMOLbBe6IGNgiZtkqt-bKP7qn02u-WerFV-ZqS2VPbIJGcc0hPSVDagrhQgUFl9QqspHpzwVGMtxf92XPRA8hmUwzn7HbQoibCyqQBbg2stkyog6c/s1600/another+farm+girl.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="462" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFdPEJfVbqqFnHD63TAzLDHNEWML3XMOLbBe6IGNgiZtkqt-bKP7qn02u-WerFV-ZqS2VPbIJGcc0hPSVDagrhQgUFl9QqspHpzwVGMtxf92XPRA8hmUwzn7HbQoibCyqQBbg2stkyog6c/s320/another+farm+girl.png" width="246" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>BUT THIS IS MORE APPROPRIATE</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There might be a few butts of ale and beer around to slake the thirst of the sun parched horde, it would not be surprising if there were. (Although there is no guarantee!)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmIN-gD_2QgDgybUgWnViMUvgOFH09jrLcv4-RG4q4A_R1tCSw5-GQfux0gkMqp3A7dR3ewG5MKgRnVY1a1UoXcQ3jwNExrkNgLylq199t49pWlfzxdYM6qT76vYi9HnO1QuaMfxrX1zJ/s1600/Butt+barrel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="474" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmIN-gD_2QgDgybUgWnViMUvgOFH09jrLcv4-RG4q4A_R1tCSw5-GQfux0gkMqp3A7dR3ewG5MKgRnVY1a1UoXcQ3jwNExrkNgLylq199t49pWlfzxdYM6qT76vYi9HnO1QuaMfxrX1zJ/s400/Butt+barrel.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">MIGHT EVEN BE A HOGSHEAD OR TWO, BUT LET'S NOT BE CRITICAL OF OUR BRETHREN AND CISTERN</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />Buttsville is a kind of red-neckity town with it's fair share of self sufficient bow hunting types so shooting at the butts, (an archaic word for "target") is not out of the question.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodEcjfJ_PkySuZ6r_1D0MM1DA67kULzfEUbu_fnWL5tT4iJd-Ch1yS_luDGH_jKXB91NqfNkbETtLbA1SjRgVrCQzBrmDQonpyC11FqY4IceZZPmLeXnGhH_nNPoqp4hBscOlKZuDMkI7/s1600/butt+and+arrow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="769" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodEcjfJ_PkySuZ6r_1D0MM1DA67kULzfEUbu_fnWL5tT4iJd-Ch1yS_luDGH_jKXB91NqfNkbETtLbA1SjRgVrCQzBrmDQonpyC11FqY4IceZZPmLeXnGhH_nNPoqp4hBscOlKZuDMkI7/s320/butt+and+arrow.jpg" width="249" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">OBVIOUSLY A GREAT SHOT</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b></b><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM97GFDHA4ZcEjHkdR8PQaGKsfTntkFi28D8t7rGOHYU09hMSOT_DVyDO1apyMna4_-RE4qPxf_mqFxW98L1oEG_CBEiJj3ejdf-eb543H1WiEvXHQVw8IzaTjX5mxP1-fmv1ECd3Yh5OF/s1600/butt+archer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="721" data-original-width="510" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM97GFDHA4ZcEjHkdR8PQaGKsfTntkFi28D8t7rGOHYU09hMSOT_DVyDO1apyMna4_-RE4qPxf_mqFxW98L1oEG_CBEiJj3ejdf-eb543H1WiEvXHQVw8IzaTjX5mxP1-fmv1ECd3Yh5OF/s320/butt+archer.jpg" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>HOPE IT ISN'T RAINING</b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There may even be some butts shooting at the butts, one never do know, do one?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Great butts are where you find them, the many tourists attending are always eager to flaunt their own, but check out the <strike>many</strike>, occasional shop or business in Buttsville.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not certain if there is a gun shop in Buttzville,</span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqopEpg0RXpeTr8KhPd6T099smotetDFOVoXbpUze7Y_jujAl9Bc4AT46o49vicwi0C3L-4vp-aej2fmsYu6kzCkkxLzzBNesMWl0O1XY2aZa3-Fpxl0MjyGvmkwemqJuQqbasVtmvKFEC/s1600/Ham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="920" data-original-width="920" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqopEpg0RXpeTr8KhPd6T099smotetDFOVoXbpUze7Y_jujAl9Bc4AT46o49vicwi0C3L-4vp-aej2fmsYu6kzCkkxLzzBNesMWl0O1XY2aZa3-Fpxl0MjyGvmkwemqJuQqbasVtmvKFEC/s320/Ham.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">LOCKED AND LOADED</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or a laundromat,</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizV_UNhzW2tG5GOCkRu6OKLAuMvPs_YDH5R8RrOHDW6d2cbK2zLpUXTljrmiM3v11ZvP5tpzUYXA6rn2xny3NDEIJBX6DbaSAN5qUFuxPmlRjrCe7suHHoa7FKTB3mMrX-JTi5HKpMAGt8/s1600/bad_girls_bend_at_the_waist_36_photos22-715917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizV_UNhzW2tG5GOCkRu6OKLAuMvPs_YDH5R8RrOHDW6d2cbK2zLpUXTljrmiM3v11ZvP5tpzUYXA6rn2xny3NDEIJBX6DbaSAN5qUFuxPmlRjrCe7suHHoa7FKTB3mMrX-JTi5HKpMAGt8/s640/bad_girls_bend_at_the_waist_36_photos22-715917.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">INSERT YOUR OWN SPIN CYCLE COMMENT HERE</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><span style="font-size: large;"><div>
<b></b><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or a pistol range for that matter.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW3I9YgB91T9ZLKk4VIfzdub7qXZEDZVYVH4I5GcPgtSvaNOIYRtPSJ0mAV446kCgURJZGsbJ13vYsvLowu9OEgvTNfgLrDI3TvuzgkZ5E3g58AWjlVGigkmhNOs0bO_mSg3WPFbGUMXKL/s1600/butt+shot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="632" data-original-width="474" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW3I9YgB91T9ZLKk4VIfzdub7qXZEDZVYVH4I5GcPgtSvaNOIYRtPSJ0mAV446kCgURJZGsbJ13vYsvLowu9OEgvTNfgLrDI3TvuzgkZ5E3g58AWjlVGigkmhNOs0bO_mSg3WPFbGUMXKL/s320/butt+shot.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">KA-BOOM!</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is your responsibility to find out!</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So get YOUR butt over to Buttsville on Saturday September 1, or YOU may become...(drum roll),</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMtUKyPgylLUGm8DiGNo9t9G9vAPS4uT6xrUIChJaTo3zGtcdvGjZou4QAItbHHSukjetakrhrwPWddMxxrRRZyFKCPZi9dyUn5H-UfVqMISUbNfKq66EKVGyap2W0eZjjy7Rl_wXq1sDV/s1600/Butt+of+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="307" data-original-width="512" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMtUKyPgylLUGm8DiGNo9t9G9vAPS4uT6xrUIChJaTo3zGtcdvGjZou4QAItbHHSukjetakrhrwPWddMxxrRRZyFKCPZi9dyUn5H-UfVqMISUbNfKq66EKVGyap2W0eZjjy7Rl_wXq1sDV/s320/Butt+of+jokes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The butt of every joke for the next year!</div>
</span></div>
</div>
</span></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-87458555820241208182018-05-19T14:22:00.000-07:002018-05-19T14:22:16.065-07:00Johann Elert Bode just doesn't get enough credit these days<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnSltYFjCAT6IKRh_SBfK7nq4PWgkA2xPHOo6SpOU_iD6Au9Jggg9-x1g3d9nDd9OoNr7wFHTmHtrEjugDA17nO163T3agCylcYNseTVU54yw6hRXducCHhAGdcT5YJKqvLchLRn65d-PQ/s1600/bode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="297" data-original-width="474" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnSltYFjCAT6IKRh_SBfK7nq4PWgkA2xPHOo6SpOU_iD6Au9Jggg9-x1g3d9nDd9OoNr7wFHTmHtrEjugDA17nO163T3agCylcYNseTVU54yw6hRXducCHhAGdcT5YJKqvLchLRn65d-PQ/s400/bode.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Whilst seated upon the commode,</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">An astronomer, <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #444444; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: "Segoe UI",Arial,Helvetica,Sans-Serif; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 23.94px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Johann Elert Bode</span></span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Found a celestial law</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Which had nary a flaw</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Which he phrased in the form of an ode.</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Each planet you see is removed from the sun</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">By a distance twice farther than the preceeding one</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Not a half, I lament</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Not three hundred percent</span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">But just twice! (Now isn't this fun?)</span></span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-82477422475617493902017-10-29T11:44:00.001-07:002017-10-29T11:53:48.486-07:00Cabbage and chicken soup<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtqYIPllqgQDmi-vd6TSZawxp8ZjCiFF9fggPQtoE9uvbe3bgNJHakJ5CJcdgPjMns090i3h8q7-OvUTiTwLup-rWGRktc3QSHWdoowOC2f8XxFZzy8xH2rGF6qcHcboJEuc9Ykvl3KP8a/s1600/cabbage+soup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="416" data-original-width="526" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtqYIPllqgQDmi-vd6TSZawxp8ZjCiFF9fggPQtoE9uvbe3bgNJHakJ5CJcdgPjMns090i3h8q7-OvUTiTwLup-rWGRktc3QSHWdoowOC2f8XxFZzy8xH2rGF6qcHcboJEuc9Ykvl3KP8a/s400/cabbage+soup.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">SOUP!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">You will need:</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">A cabbage</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">A very large onion</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">A pound of boneless chicken breast</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">or</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">A pound or so of chicken tenderloin</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Fresh garlic or garlic powder</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">S</span><span style="font-family: "arial";">alt</span></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Chicken broth</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Butter</span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">In a skillet melt some butter, and add a little salt and either fresh crushed garlic or some garlic powder.</span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Slice the chicken into thumb sized pieces and add to the butter in the skillet. If you have an extraordinarily large thumb such as the one the late Andre the Giant sported, think of someone with a smaller thumb and slice the bits of chicken to match the smaller digit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz20b8QDPsr_PpB8p89ore6GPuH_laPjo2hk3M2sPqMgYyMocVULU6caDbNYub9m5eGKwXLZZP7YgpgdNnnWGTVCZqXKLPpvLFSS8sX89snT4mmfG9JuiZ6gfOp6v5Z0XO2jbEtPS-hIJQ/s1600/thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="206" data-original-width="303" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz20b8QDPsr_PpB8p89ore6GPuH_laPjo2hk3M2sPqMgYyMocVULU6caDbNYub9m5eGKwXLZZP7YgpgdNnnWGTVCZqXKLPpvLFSS8sX89snT4mmfG9JuiZ6gfOp6v5Z0XO2jbEtPS-hIJQ/s400/thumb.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">THAT'S A BIG THUMB</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Slice some cabbage thinly, then chop the slices, add to the skillet.</span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">S</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">lice the onion thinly, quarter the slices and place in the skillet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Stir and flip the contents to coat the ingredients with butter and to promote even cooking.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">In a large saucepan start some chicken broth heating.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">When the chicken is mostly cooked transfer the entire contents of the skillet to the saucepan. Allow to simmer until you are certain that the chicken has been thoroughly cooked and the cabbage is soft and tender. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The soup is now ready to eat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Note: This is the basic soup, but noodles, macaroni or pre-cooked rice can be added, as can carrots, peas or other veggies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Or ball bearings for that matter but I don't endorse the idea.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">This is also good with boneless pork ribs substituted for the chicken!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Enjoy!</div>
<div align="left">
<br /></div>
</span><br />
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-81745973041463066242017-07-30T12:55:00.000-07:002017-08-13T11:06:10.467-07:00One of the best but least known holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's "Best Butts in Buttzville, 2017, the fifth installment of same"!<br /><br />Where?: Buttzville, New Jersey on Route 46 near the intersection with route 31 in Warren County.<br /><br />When?: August 27, 2017<br /><br />What?: Seriously? This is a question?</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmtaFeABOlTdsLHJhIQ_1uBl3PgqCxb-z_lnO3xc7TCbLc_RVq-Ec08azvQTIu19a5dVYLYcrSPgfE-qNW-Njj4kpEYaCk3Sp3XzwyywhKDrYuuUbHqnn5AdZ8sRNem621BslFMjHA3b9f/s1600/best+butss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="210" data-original-width="160" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmtaFeABOlTdsLHJhIQ_1uBl3PgqCxb-z_lnO3xc7TCbLc_RVq-Ec08azvQTIu19a5dVYLYcrSPgfE-qNW-Njj4kpEYaCk3Sp3XzwyywhKDrYuuUbHqnn5AdZ8sRNem621BslFMjHA3b9f/s400/best+butss.jpg" width="304" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">HERE IS A HINT</span></div>
<div align="left">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">So get your butt to Buttsville on August 27th and enjoy the cheeky festivities!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-47108834630678923592017-04-30T16:38:00.001-07:002017-04-30T16:42:09.247-07:00 The Singular Adventure of, Well, Just Trust Us It's Pretty Damned Singular<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuqmx3ONNWkM-XPopQPv2e7NXYI_sImpsWWB3vvWJveiAJUBIDrMAbzgFmiP1-nVHSOLWUodGKeLQlt12eKLJ86WSK__RvnK6mUWXp7dO3z0p7bUYJz6PUa4eLbuz7p_V82i2DwQvfd2b2/s1600/Holmes-Paget.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuqmx3ONNWkM-XPopQPv2e7NXYI_sImpsWWB3vvWJveiAJUBIDrMAbzgFmiP1-nVHSOLWUodGKeLQlt12eKLJ86WSK__RvnK6mUWXp7dO3z0p7bUYJz6PUa4eLbuz7p_V82i2DwQvfd2b2/s640/Holmes-Paget.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">DR. PHINEAS MOSSMITE AND WINKLE PICOT, SLEUTHERY AT ITS FINEST </span></span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I say, Mossmite, things have been damnably quiet since that blasted chap Aardvark </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">folded his tents, took the Bubblows site off the net and hauled ass for Bora Bora</span></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">about a half step, I should judge, ahead of State and Federal authorities."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Quiet indeed Picot." replied Dr. Phineas Mossmite. "But it's 'Arvin' and 'Bubblews', not to put to fine a point on it, and we don't know that anyone was actually in pursuit of him."<br /><br />"Except of course, Mrs. Bilgepump. Bloody bastard was into her for twenty quid when he did a runner. Shouldn't like to be in his shoes when the old dear comes thundering down on him like a rogue elephant with a bide-a-wee thorn up it's arse."<br /><br />"Indeed." replied Picot, flinching.<br /><br />"Mossmite old chap, if I may digress for a moment, how is it that two youngish, up to date fellows dwelling in Hoboken in 2017 manage to speak, sound and read like relics from Victorian London?"</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I bring it up because our reader, Mrs. Abigail Potts-Chamberly expressed a certain degree of irritated bafflement regarding our dialogue."<br /><br />"Well Picot", said Mossmite, producing his pipe, "You've got me. I blame the writer."<br /><br />"As do we all." said Picot.<br /><br /><br />There will be yet more singularities. Some of them naked.</span></span>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-60419563920880486332016-11-17T13:33:00.002-08:002016-11-17T13:35:16.644-08:00Adios, MF<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2TWrpuU3MpAc5h7WZkaMd6Lob0h1eed89IN7KgpwwWKP-zsG7WOnpLexOdjyHfQMPeQXXX-TRXBUFbdTs-iJ5K-zVJ6iqzovRtZVzZDsgEuXnxX8Zmq8qqF4jaSC6_dLKLgJqYiCkxuV/s1600/hillary-clinton-shrug-ap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2TWrpuU3MpAc5h7WZkaMd6Lob0h1eed89IN7KgpwwWKP-zsG7WOnpLexOdjyHfQMPeQXXX-TRXBUFbdTs-iJ5K-zVJ6iqzovRtZVzZDsgEuXnxX8Zmq8qqF4jaSC6_dLKLgJqYiCkxuV/s400/hillary-clinton-shrug-ap.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Pack up all your left wing crap<br /> While Donald takes his victory lap<br /> Bye bye, Granny</span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> Your future just became your past</span><span class="text_exposed_hide"><span style="font-size: x-large;">...</span></span><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /><span style="font-size: x-large;"> And I'm so glad to see the last<br /> Of your fat fanny</span></span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> Good luck with your upcoming expedition<br /> To a country that won't honor extradition</span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> Do not weep and do not wail<br /> Just be glad you're not in jail<br /> Granny, bye bye!</span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-46328049229403565632016-03-25T04:09:00.002-07:002016-03-25T04:09:23.144-07:00Old Bill C<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVoPnb0F0qlBKLgzPG648VsBD5rqD11N5CBEIJC_5riXZnTD7O5nCLFJRfpvdQvT0Rym6HDQ0Ctz-gXcZ4lbcdkE5kI-iS97GDLLEqx0g7Ckgg_2SicQpnEwDd28OerjETNO6D-Z_FF84h/s1600/puddin%2527.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVoPnb0F0qlBKLgzPG648VsBD5rqD11N5CBEIJC_5riXZnTD7O5nCLFJRfpvdQvT0Rym6HDQ0Ctz-gXcZ4lbcdkE5kI-iS97GDLLEqx0g7Ckgg_2SicQpnEwDd28OerjETNO6D-Z_FF84h/s400/puddin%2527.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I queried Bill 'bout his sordid past</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What sort of gal do you like?", I asked.<br />Intellectual types, or those who sport?<br />Do you like them tall or love them short?<br />Do you prefer them silent, or verbose?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bill said: "I like them comatose."</span></span></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-68334445272316407152016-03-06T17:46:00.003-08:002017-08-13T11:10:00.843-07:00A Day at the Laundromat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-bHzbW7L7d_vA2kBmHqWu5Jp9z0x-xMaRxg9aFFCaLjJhkr_133-xqOm2qr04O9xur7skS1HoAUdXbS8F0qERWwY3Tm5rFlQlE9k6vBbQCU5Q4_mJfVugkBXWDaMzTV35D2Gz6V7rSbPR/s1600/laundry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-bHzbW7L7d_vA2kBmHqWu5Jp9z0x-xMaRxg9aFFCaLjJhkr_133-xqOm2qr04O9xur7skS1HoAUdXbS8F0qERWwY3Tm5rFlQlE9k6vBbQCU5Q4_mJfVugkBXWDaMzTV35D2Gz6V7rSbPR/s400/laundry.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Oh hi me hence to the laundromat <br />
Bearing many a malodorous sock<br />
As oftimes a shepherd will boldly go<span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> To the babbling brook where the clear waters flow<br /> With a line of the wooliest beasties in tow<br /> (Or sometimes merely formed up in a row)<br /> Which comprises his caprinaerious flock</span><br />
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
A football jersey, meant for sports <br />
Relegated now to work<br />
A dozen holed and yellowed shorts<br />
Which in a dank corner lurk<br />
Some threadbare jeans and and faded tees<br />
A brace of sweatpants lacking knees<br />
And a woolen sweater, rife with fleas<br />
I finds I must transports<br />
<br />
As manly heart anticipates the finding of a laundromat queen<br />
Perhaps a Vida Guerra clone<br />
Or Jennifer Lawrence all alone<br />
Or Charlotte McKinney, sans cell phone*<br />
But it doesn't seem to be my day, none such are here, I ween.<br />
<br />
When it comes to laundromatic love it seems I am "stuff" out of luck, <br />
For the only lass who toils within<br />
Sports globular frame and trebular chin<br />
And more body hair than Rin Tin Tin<br />
Much like Rosanne Barr with a silly grin, had her face impacted a truck.<br />
<br />
<br />
*So she can't call for help.</div>
<div class="_3x-2">
<div data-ft="{"tn":"H"}">
<div class="mtm">
<div class="_5cq3" data-ft="{"tn":"E"}">
<a class="_4-eo _2t9n" href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1053988071329844&set=a.289298854465440.67618.100001559842383&type=3" rel="theater" style="width: 487px;"></a><br />
<div class="uiScaledImageContainer _4-ep" id="u_jsonp_7_k" style="height: 323px; width: 487px;">
</div>
<a class="_4-eo _2t9n" href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1053988071329844&set=a.289298854465440.67618.100001559842383&type=3" rel="theater" style="width: 487px;">
</a></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-25610378315970503452015-10-10T19:02:00.002-07:002015-10-18T13:04:30.704-07:00This load is definitely ready for the dryer<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS_XEs5w1elFSvbWEstN-h7iaVfjKOJeR532MA636-UOnWg9ttWeubyxteFQDLPfgsfvl0uu9K5hj6kq9pANSzkku85z5XCGwOazVOjuYQa3mZ7Lysx0djdqSykg8CLAi3uWCn7ueZLPKd/s1600/aaalaundry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS_XEs5w1elFSvbWEstN-h7iaVfjKOJeR532MA636-UOnWg9ttWeubyxteFQDLPfgsfvl0uu9K5hj6kq9pANSzkku85z5XCGwOazVOjuYQa3mZ7Lysx0djdqSykg8CLAi3uWCn7ueZLPKd/s400/aaalaundry.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">AIN'T SHE CUTE?</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hi ho for a day at the Laundromat, it's one of my favorite sports!<br /> No wondering where the yellow went, it's there in my threadbare shorts.<br /> My holy socks turn the water dark, and my whitish clothes as well,<br /> I doubt that they ever do get clean but at least they no longer smell.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I spend the drying time hitting on the hot chick from Guatermeller,<br /> But who is the dude with the machete blade, he seems quite an irritable feller?</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8EmQo-8SvRJeK4yziv4_XtQmiIAUJD9wET1SxwKiGKd8h7JE5waxCZjx9oeaqJnzeHJOIpHKS_p4U1GP6U43byQwonQehVZAb69m-H3c9PTB4yYvtLPdq8WG401iyiikS-QxXYTXbhr-I/s1600/aaamachete.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8EmQo-8SvRJeK4yziv4_XtQmiIAUJD9wET1SxwKiGKd8h7JE5waxCZjx9oeaqJnzeHJOIpHKS_p4U1GP6U43byQwonQehVZAb69m-H3c9PTB4yYvtLPdq8WG401iyiikS-QxXYTXbhr-I/s400/aaamachete.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hey, calm down Bud how am I to know that the hot chick is your wife?<br /> No need for thuggery, mayhem and gore nor all other forms of strife!</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Well. In all my years at the laundromat I've learned to wash out mud.<br /> Food stains and paint and litter box taint, and now I can tackle blood.<br /> When next I visit the laundromat I'll leave Guatemalan chicks alone<br /> Cause the blood I must wash from my tattered clothes?<br /> All of it is my own.</span></span></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-19227329529357927072015-08-08T12:54:00.000-07:002015-08-08T12:54:53.707-07:00<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8NL4J-eUYhAEIAjsG7cLtPNfxb7R6mEraqJi28v9AdCij8UELjBWTsaI8uxY-01xp_5Kw-nvjveZKEY1gyrt3vvY2xWchP3N-3tTMQyLcmywwU_N5p2oNCvsKSAfPct85HQvnzGvFpFtb/s1600/Bville.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="579" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8NL4J-eUYhAEIAjsG7cLtPNfxb7R6mEraqJi28v9AdCij8UELjBWTsaI8uxY-01xp_5Kw-nvjveZKEY1gyrt3vvY2xWchP3N-3tTMQyLcmywwU_N5p2oNCvsKSAfPct85HQvnzGvFpFtb/s640/Bville.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">BUTTZVILLE NJ, WHERE YOU CAN LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND YOU </span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Man where does the time go?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Already, the
fourth, yes I said FOURTH annual Best Butts in Buttzville Festival is
hard upon us. All day and night, Saturday August 28th the sidewalks,
streets, parks and by-ways of Buttzville will throng with resplendent
rumps, puissant posteriors, gargantuan glutes, bodacious booties,
titanic tushies and all around great asses!<br /><br />Do not miss this world famous event!</span></span> </span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAEUAomd3DxX2ZmKGnDyMdQ575eJdiPbHfTZn0kP6hr3Koce4C06MBzN1JJQmqh5817DSBZqx1FeyRMDK6Dde1tIvQCIVz4HPN82B6NlLrMp1FWV5vl3HWoJri99Gnll7aX2hAYODQ9Msy/s1600/bb+buttzville+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAEUAomd3DxX2ZmKGnDyMdQ575eJdiPbHfTZn0kP6hr3Koce4C06MBzN1JJQmqh5817DSBZqx1FeyRMDK6Dde1tIvQCIVz4HPN82B6NlLrMp1FWV5vl3HWoJri99Gnll7aX2hAYODQ9Msy/s400/bb+buttzville+5.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">OOOOH!</span></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4DQcIdPvhVLFJPyea4mjDg1N0uTCZn96D3dVM8titavyHa8NTCWb4qdIun1W_0UCcTNikQDPPZVpBydbp5i5tmVOQifzWsebg07eUz-vZnHlzDUa33L1dEGgyvRTpWXLZAnXe5u_IyOZd/s1600/bb+buttzville+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4DQcIdPvhVLFJPyea4mjDg1N0uTCZn96D3dVM8titavyHa8NTCWb4qdIun1W_0UCcTNikQDPPZVpBydbp5i5tmVOQifzWsebg07eUz-vZnHlzDUa33L1dEGgyvRTpWXLZAnXe5u_IyOZd/s400/bb+buttzville+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">AHHHHH!</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgorKxHiT5ckHm00cU1RMhIBpjBsvRNXcgtBanDzvEwd_ST2-UFtisfXfTlU9aWj2lpk82FkOVvn96K-hOKmpiqgkdUFrabshFUenvcYUTOcVa7xcdDblMGQu-u54gNNo8BjUfeG80CmUaA/s1600/bb+buttzville+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgorKxHiT5ckHm00cU1RMhIBpjBsvRNXcgtBanDzvEwd_ST2-UFtisfXfTlU9aWj2lpk82FkOVvn96K-hOKmpiqgkdUFrabshFUenvcYUTOcVa7xcdDblMGQu-u54gNNo8BjUfeG80CmUaA/s400/bb+buttzville+2.jpg" width="280" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">YIKES!</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxMyyqnrM64vX5inWJDhBjC0z1guaKo7ldy-jHT9ZyqnJAnk2TgavHknF6J50P62cU-c6yjsFBWnS7-UFpXGIl3inakLgOKqd18rkbuA2pRn4_7OXJQ9LuWr0nq381lOkF9c1dOqAgfide/s1600/bb+buttzville+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxMyyqnrM64vX5inWJDhBjC0z1guaKo7ldy-jHT9ZyqnJAnk2TgavHknF6J50P62cU-c6yjsFBWnS7-UFpXGIl3inakLgOKqd18rkbuA2pRn4_7OXJQ9LuWr0nq381lOkF9c1dOqAgfide/s640/bb+buttzville+3.jpg" width="352" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">YUMMMM!</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGp-PqxJoAq02ItRRM_hvh1TcaIa6Aj9Vutq4aZuDT33c9cYXcmOSpAi-1awwCDNB5CHxORoWq-EA4mt27rRCehSY4Y5obDGGKgR3ZJh71SjN34lfVpzPe8nTrzOzBnSYUYkP2UxJV5VAS/s1600/BB+BUTTZVILL+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGp-PqxJoAq02ItRRM_hvh1TcaIa6Aj9Vutq4aZuDT33c9cYXcmOSpAi-1awwCDNB5CHxORoWq-EA4mt27rRCehSY4Y5obDGGKgR3ZJh71SjN34lfVpzPe8nTrzOzBnSYUYkP2UxJV5VAS/s400/BB+BUTTZVILL+6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">SOMETIMES THE BEAR EATS YOU!</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Make your plans and buy your tickets, Best Butts in Buttzville comes but once a year!</span></span>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-39727020093752871002015-07-05T09:48:00.000-07:002015-07-05T09:48:04.148-07:00An Afternoon at Gannet Hill Park<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirjKfuNduD4gnhBilkETFXU158cduDWLFrayKgxo4YweL5m36L5MwVlCrHIXixkYUfnFSgjhCRw3FL9D5mAvtmk0jb2y4oYPq2gVHMn7e8LF7GDJ7dj2-n5rKyyc1Kd3sRO7m2xpD2zEgE/s1600/Baldy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirjKfuNduD4gnhBilkETFXU158cduDWLFrayKgxo4YweL5m36L5MwVlCrHIXixkYUfnFSgjhCRw3FL9D5mAvtmk0jb2y4oYPq2gVHMn7e8LF7GDJ7dj2-n5rKyyc1Kd3sRO7m2xpD2zEgE/s320/Baldy.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What did ye see at Gannet, Janet,<br /> Down there in the hollow?<br /> A big old balding eagle, Janet? <span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> Or was it just a swallow?<br /> What saw you there, beneath the tree<br /> When the little hand was on the three,<br /> And the big right hand was on your knee?<br /> And what consequence did follow?</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVeyn-BEfwDMCBRYjMevtyoUQvhLJImrVFzDwVJ5j2KD0dHWtsXc_ioiG_qGZBoSwtAZ7iYVDVRT-ff6UKBmjPDPbOn43b4nofIe5-2fFpZd6zxqRe11cLspjGLUTHzK9es-lZhTwRhb0l/s1600/+a+swallow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVeyn-BEfwDMCBRYjMevtyoUQvhLJImrVFzDwVJ5j2KD0dHWtsXc_ioiG_qGZBoSwtAZ7iYVDVRT-ff6UKBmjPDPbOn43b4nofIe5-2fFpZd6zxqRe11cLspjGLUTHzK9es-lZhTwRhb0l/s320/+a+swallow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-27559618623008152432015-02-24T16:11:00.001-08:002017-10-31T20:10:28.806-07:00Prepare to Board!<div class="comment-body content af-links">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjETTZNX9lJze2AucYCr5k1iOgU6SZeRGQhsrXNKjXzsk4HBL1pmx1RMJsT52UzHq1Z2GYwakIocVlAC60Didm3_cRyfDWhoVAVambBaDb21TXVDO-JW8wxXA5ET4OIDMq_PIWmX5qfb3E5/s1600/pirate_johnny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjETTZNX9lJze2AucYCr5k1iOgU6SZeRGQhsrXNKjXzsk4HBL1pmx1RMJsT52UzHq1Z2GYwakIocVlAC60Didm3_cRyfDWhoVAVambBaDb21TXVDO-JW8wxXA5ET4OIDMq_PIWmX5qfb3E5/s1600/pirate_johnny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I knew a man, he was my lodger,<br />
He used to fly the Jolly Rodger<br />
And all who sailed he would despoil<br />
From Nassau Town to old Port Royal<br />
But Port Royal vanished 'neath the sea<br />
And Nassau fell, a victory<br />
Of British arms.<br />
<br />
Tortuga too, had lost its charms<br />
As a haven for Brethren of the Coast<br />
But ere my boarder gave up his ghost<br />
He hired a ship and took to sea<br />
With corsairs nigh as aged as he<br />
And took a Spanish treasure barque<br />
And what had started as a lark<br />
Became the fortune of them all<br />
<br />
So long ago, but I recall,<br />
The largess of this ancient rogue<br />
Who now, long gone, must fry in hell.<br />
But while among us? Tipped real well.</div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-72670347686557946322015-01-25T12:19:00.002-08:002015-04-29T16:26:50.663-07:00The Depressurization of Tom Brady's Balls <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHqBQV56r2zD4B0C2b3mw3PX4nf6Qn2cupRiS-gPdPjlBiUtQucDOBqWeU7rqYI_aqpZlA9r1P0Mw_0yjroI0IB7w_MiOJ2h8YVt_CiTmBntE2zk8oay5OTzMgTlTZejphyphenhyphencgkI4BBEkn2/s1600/Gisele.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHqBQV56r2zD4B0C2b3mw3PX4nf6Qn2cupRiS-gPdPjlBiUtQucDOBqWeU7rqYI_aqpZlA9r1P0Mw_0yjroI0IB7w_MiOJ2h8YVt_CiTmBntE2zk8oay5OTzMgTlTZejphyphenhyphencgkI4BBEkn2/s1600/Gisele.jpg" height="400" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Tom Brady's balls were firm and hard and thus difficult to clutch<br />He tried smearing them with sticky stuff, (it didn't help that much)<br />Tom did some research and he discovered, (Imagine his elation)<br />That he could grip his balls just right with just the right deflation</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">And when he gripped his balls just right he could throw them down the field<br />To all of his receivers wide, and force the foe to yield<br />But the NFL drew up a rule and it's enforcement strongly urge-ed<br />That balls may not be placed in play unless they're fully turgid.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Tom really tried to find a way to ease the pressure in his balls<br />And wandered through his rooms by day and nightly through his halls<br />He called upon the football Gods to drain his balls real good<br />But only his mate , a super model, heard (and misunderstood)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">And so she lay in wait for Tom and did so not in vain<br />And each time Tommy hove in view his balls she'd truly drain<br />Now Tom's accused of cheating by football, not Gisele<br />And they may not even let him play; consigned to football hell</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">"Be careful what you wish for", I heard poor Tommy say<br />For with his balls so truly drained he's far too tired to play.</span>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-90721299959841919442015-01-22T18:50:00.001-08:002015-01-22T18:50:20.621-08:00Trending to Vampirical!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2DfMkqNa98nG77SbpL5MOfTZCfgciMLkXxXyoMHcay3SsYw4xVFuINkGqfcrL9KR-B6NjvHJFJFIf47ok-Rh1DJNbDBNpB8LwekYB-WS7QBcDb3Q0ZESEG08TjiWT5wweTIIywYuJNLkt/s1600/vampir.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2DfMkqNa98nG77SbpL5MOfTZCfgciMLkXxXyoMHcay3SsYw4xVFuINkGqfcrL9KR-B6NjvHJFJFIf47ok-Rh1DJNbDBNpB8LwekYB-WS7QBcDb3Q0ZESEG08TjiWT5wweTIIywYuJNLkt/s1600/vampir.jpg" height="400" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Although it's scarcely plausible<br />I find my eyes are crossible<br />Her cocktail dress is gauzable<br />And that may be the causible</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">You won't see her at night<br />Or in brightest daylight<br />She can only be found in the gloam of twilight</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">She used to act sweet with me but now she's almost</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Trending to vampirical<br />Trending to vampirical</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Her habits are crepuscular<br />She's more-than-human muscular<br />It's impossible to hustle her<br />(But still it's fun to tussle her)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Her hair is flame red and she doesn't smell dead<br />And despite the sharp fangs she gives really good head<br />She's really quite a sight to see even though she's</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Trending to vampirical<br />Trending to vampirical</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">She's so fine, there's no tellin' where my red cells went<br />She wants mine, it's transfusion time I know</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Trending to vampirical!</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Note, you can sing this if you've a mind to. Robert Palmers' "Simply Irresistible" might be a good place to start. </span>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-49245304843729321442015-01-04T07:37:00.000-08:002015-08-09T05:57:47.213-07:00The Beautiful Schnee<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguA5PhOEZpdQn-rQJWwhZyj-FhV8B1WMGE1yr5IS1oXdLYB2Pbdpfu619DZI7PyiZiyQh6ny6jsH0TtOthLw0Vkomq_-8mvsWrAqi71AZoyzYs6lkB-e8WtdYR7IeEW8nXjmoU5Wk_sptV/s1600/yellow+snow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguA5PhOEZpdQn-rQJWwhZyj-FhV8B1WMGE1yr5IS1oXdLYB2Pbdpfu619DZI7PyiZiyQh6ny6jsH0TtOthLw0Vkomq_-8mvsWrAqi71AZoyzYs6lkB-e8WtdYR7IeEW8nXjmoU5Wk_sptV/s1600/yellow+snow.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Schnee, schnee, beautiful schnee,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Stuck to each hedgerow and roof peak and tree,<br />It ain't goin' to stop 'til it's over my knee!<br />It's the schnee, the beautiful schnee.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Mister Weatherman I wonder, wouldst riddle me this?<br />And please answer promptly, before I get pissed<br />You foresaw, last report, only rain and some mist.<br />Now I'm up to my butt in wet schnee!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">"Pardon me, poem writer, a question for thee!<br />We are looking at snow, yet you're calling it "schnee"?"<br />"I'll answer that question in manner laconic,<br />The word still means "snow" if your speech is Teutonic!" </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Schnee, schnee, bee-yoot-tee-ful schnee<br />I write my name in it when I need to pee<br />A skill set passed down from my father to me<br />Beware you don't eat yellow schnee!</span></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-81873786875935662014-12-27T14:50:00.001-08:002015-01-08T16:13:42.669-08:00Trouble in Violet's Kitchen. Again.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmIe2pKFeuD6Fce4Cjt_5Kq45Kv97AOd3caeA4UoxZKxg1uhFuBEcxf3iHtamUducLP1UfPVleDWEcbsIp41UzTp3A-PLHPcnH-fHpTCOT9OwaQO28klQ1vJaJp1nl3kPZ4wg2NKy3sljq/s1600/crepuscular_bleu_fairy_by_judi57-d6r3yqy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmIe2pKFeuD6Fce4Cjt_5Kq45Kv97AOd3caeA4UoxZKxg1uhFuBEcxf3iHtamUducLP1UfPVleDWEcbsIp41UzTp3A-PLHPcnH-fHpTCOT9OwaQO28klQ1vJaJp1nl3kPZ4wg2NKy3sljq/s1600/crepuscular_bleu_fairy_by_judi57-d6r3yqy.jpg" height="400" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1</b></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Violet was washing dishes and singing a festive Christmas song:<br />
<br />
“May all have sprouts from Brussels,<br />
May all have sprouts from Brussels,<br />
May all have sprouts from Brussels,<br />
To be washed down with beer.”<br />
<br />
“Oh that's absurd.”, she thought, “That isn't a Christmas Carol! Where did that even come from? Let me try 'Deck the Halls”.<br />
<br />
Violet, when not hyperventilating had a voice like a bell and soon the house rang with:<br />
<br />
“Deck the halls with sprouts from Brussels, <br />
Falalalala lalalala!<br />
Good for bones and hair and muscles,<br />
Falalalala lalalala!” <br />
<br />
“What the HELL!” she exclaimed, somewhat worried.<br />
<br />
Odd things had happened in Violet's peaceful world over the last few
years and she had learned that when things once began to get odd, they
rapidly became odder.<br />
<br />
A soft sound behind her caught her attention; a sound like a hole in
space and time opening and closing, a sound with which she had become
much too familiar over the preceding months. But this sound was not
nearly as loud as those she had heard previously.<br />
<br />
Feigning deafness her hand groped beneath the soapy water and
clutched the handle of the butchers knife that waited there. She
whirled, stared across the kitchen table to the work counter where
sat...<br />
<br />
A fairy.<br />
<br />
Sort of.<br />
<br />
She was rather large for a fairy, perhaps 5' 8” with a figure which
indicated a decline in gym visitations and a frequent flier program to
the Haagen Daze cooler. She went about 14 stone.<br />
<br />
She was clad in a short ragged fairy dress equipped with a droopy
looking set of wings. A plastic tiara graced her dark tousled hair and
by way of wand she held a plastic tube which had once held sugar candy.<br />
<br />
It held none at the moment.<br />
<br />
Her dress was transparent and she apparently had a take it or leave
it attitude towards undergarments. The fairy herself was semi
transparent, which gave Violet an uneasy feeling.<br />
<br />
“Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my kitchen?” she
demanded, not unreasonably. Her own words seemed familiar to her,
somehow.<br />
<br />
The fairy looked stricken.<br />
<br />
“Why I'm little Periwinkle! From the early days of your story! Don't you remember me?”<br />
<br />
Tears began leaking from her overly mascaraed eyes.<br />
<br />
“Little Periwinkle? LITTLE Periwinkle? Um, not clearly, or to be more
accurate, not at all. Are you sure you are haunting the right kitchen?
And what do you mean by 'my story'?”<br />
<br />
“Ooooooaaaaaahhhhhh!” Periwinkle wailed, “You have forgotten me
entirely! Little Periwinkle from the first chapters of '<a href="http://violets-in-bloom-novel.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Violet's in Bloom</a>'?”<br />
<br />
“Violet's in Bloom? I'm afraid I don't know the tale. You really are in the wrong kitchen.<br />
<br />
"Push on then, there's a lass.”<br />
<br />
At this, Periwinkle began to weep like a lawn sprinkler.<br />
<br />
Violet was moved.<br />
<br />
“There there”, she said gently, “It will sort itself out I'm sure. Would you uh, perhaps, like some pie?”<br />
<br />
“PIE!”, the fairy snuffled and the waterworks began to subside. “I'm so upset. I couldn't touch a crumb.”<br />
<br />
“Er what kind of pie, just tasking to be polite?”<br />
<br />
“Apple blueberry with vanilla ice cream. It's still warm. The pie I mean, not the ice cream.”<br />
<br />
“Well Okay then. Just a tiny slice maybe.”<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnLj4Cv_Zx5pYwp3JGrbLdQEeX5e5pKMtR3QK6Ofxas-fKPlIURpBhHDkDj9ZCKT5yIEHPrBsCte3gChgDYUtp7QkiV9pEpZsehdWTnZyqNtA2SWJFLCXFEvwjVnrSMvwYK_4wfR4r0T7/s1600/Uncle+mac+pipe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnLj4Cv_Zx5pYwp3JGrbLdQEeX5e5pKMtR3QK6Ofxas-fKPlIURpBhHDkDj9ZCKT5yIEHPrBsCte3gChgDYUtp7QkiV9pEpZsehdWTnZyqNtA2SWJFLCXFEvwjVnrSMvwYK_4wfR4r0T7/s1600/Uncle+mac+pipe.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>2</b></div>
<br />
KARUMP!<br />
<br />
A wormhole opened in the middle of the Garden Shed and Milly Quackenbush, dressed as a fairy, stepped through it.<br />
<br />
The hole closed.<br />
<br />
Somewhere between universes Milly had lost around 5 stone and the
dress had adjusted to her slender but quite delicious frame. The wings
were now lively and vibrant, the tiara glittered colorfully from the
many precious jewels set into the silver frame. Her wand was two feet of
polished ebony. An enormous emerald formed the pommel, and tendrils of
violet energy leaked from the electrum clad tip.<br />
<br />
None present mourned the dearth of underwear.<br />
<br />
“Piece of cake”, said the earths last remaining sorceress, “or should
I say, piece of pie. Not a bad pie either. In a century or two she
might be as good a baker as I am.”<br />
<br />
“But probably not.”<br />
<br />
“It is as we thought, the dear girl has no idea that she is a
literary construct, written into existence by everyone's favorite
romance writer, Glory Lennon. We should have some fun with her.”<br />
<br />
Uncle Mac grinned like a shark at a shipwreck. “What do you suggest?”<br />
<br />
“I say we go Scrooge and Marley on her ass. What do you think?”<br />
<br />
There was a universal round of surprised laughter. Even the usually unflappable Delacroix joined in.<br />
<br />
“Do it!” said Uncle M.<br />
<br />
The wand flared briefly, and Milly was gone.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEzDWqzpRrUBfE5g-n5ZAjG4STvv-6JRZoqsmODMOAZeNfwAm7n6l7hDJJivB2bUGUCyuTrrHAYsEII5QilcqF4b3VcTr0B-1IbgKd251hRESQHZxwbgtratdIQCTyIjEgOb5iW1nY0Bgp/s1600/cherry-pie-girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEzDWqzpRrUBfE5g-n5ZAjG4STvv-6JRZoqsmODMOAZeNfwAm7n6l7hDJJivB2bUGUCyuTrrHAYsEII5QilcqF4b3VcTr0B-1IbgKd251hRESQHZxwbgtratdIQCTyIjEgOb5iW1nY0Bgp/s1600/cherry-pie-girl.jpg" height="320" width="235" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3</b></div>
<br />
“Little Periwinkle” returned to Violets kitchen, but as she returned
just two nanoseconds after she had left Violet never noticed.<br />
<br />
“More pie, er, Periwinkle?” suggested Violet, eyeing the last remaining slice ruefully.<br />
<br />
“Little Periwinkle”, corrected the ersatz fairy, as she reached for the pie dish. “I couldn't possibly.”<br />
<br />
“Look Violet I am sorry you don't remember me but it's about 'Violets in Bloom'. You need to help your readers out just a bit.”<br />
<br />
“My readers? I don't know what you are talking about.”<br />
<br />
“Yes, your readers! Your story is now over 760 Chapters long and
published online! You need to start publishing a second run from the
beginning, so that new readers can catch up.”<br />
<br />
“I don't write stories. I can barely write a shopping list! You have the wrong Violet, I'm quite certain.”<br />
<br />
Periwinkle was beginning to wonder. She checked the kitchen wall and
sure enough, there was a crater in the wooden paneling, as if a tiny
meteor had punched it's way through from the outside. There was
evidently a hole in the center of the crater, for someone, no doubt
Violet, had closed it by hammering a wine cork into the opening.<br />
<br />
Vida G. had bored that hole in the wall with a stolen Lapau .338 while shooting at Violets boyfriend.<br />
<br />
[It's a long story and not really that relevant, save that it convinced Periwinkle that she was in the right place.]<br />
<br />
“You know what? I think you may be right, Violet. Terribly sorry. I have my messages and my Violets confused.”<br />
<br />
She stood up, and continued portentously.<br />
<br />
“You will be haunted!”<br />
<br />
“What?” asked the astonished Violet.<br />
<br />
“Haunted by four Spirits!”<br />
<br />
“Dickens only hit Scrooge with three, what makes me so freakin' special?”<br />
<br />
“Expect them on Christmas Eve, Violet Bennett!”<br />
<br />
“NO! I don't want them!” Violet squeaked.<br />
<br />
“Never the less, so shall it be. Look for me no more.”<br />
<br />
Raising the empty candy tube she was holding in lieu of a wand she
sprinkled a few incandescent sparks – violet ones, oddly enough - on her
own head and vanished with a mild 'Phumph!' “<br />
<br />
“Crap.” said Violet<br />
<br />
More sparks appeared and a pudgy hand poked through the center of
them. The candy tube waved once at the pie dish, and with another
“Phumph” hand, tube and sparks disappeared, this time for good although
Violet had no way of knowing this.<br />
<br />
The dish, however, once again held a pie.<br />
<br />
Quite a remarkable pie, as it turned out.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgRvSB6G-C1w_6qyAXojXqr35Xynan8ZXTOlaWE_7jtLGintQliLfsSZuBB3GohK5YEbPPd1h7Y7ckq2lRc7nhvX3OpfNLNy80fn2hoiECO33cW0HSu5H73z9RP7q8fhrsHLcrt3p9jTw/s1600/1277247863EkJSuYf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgRvSB6G-C1w_6qyAXojXqr35Xynan8ZXTOlaWE_7jtLGintQliLfsSZuBB3GohK5YEbPPd1h7Y7ckq2lRc7nhvX3OpfNLNy80fn2hoiECO33cW0HSu5H73z9RP7q8fhrsHLcrt3p9jTw/s1600/1277247863EkJSuYf.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
4</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
“Balls!”, exclaimed Uncle Mac<br />
<br />
“Had I two, we'd need to re-evaluate your sexuality”, said Farm Girl<br />
<br />
“No seriously. It is now Christmas Eve and we haven't prepared the
scripts to follow when we are haunting Violet Bennet like the three
spirits haunted Scrooge in a Christmas Carol. We'll need to scrub the
mission.”<br />
<br />
Moans, groans, expostulations, sighs, muttered mutterings and at
least one resonant, lengthy, and tooling fart accompanied his
announcement.<br />
<br />
Folks moved away from Leatherface.<br />
<br />
“No.” came a calm but determined voice from a dark corner. “Violet deserves to be haunted and we by God are gonna haunt her.”<br />
<br />
“We will simply improvise and keep our appearances very short. Almost Glory-like.” <br />
It was Delacroix who spoke.<br />
<br />
“I can do this”, chirped Vida G. “I'm ready! And I spent so much time on my costume!”<br />
<br />
“How much time do a few square inches of silk and fishnets plus a Santa hat actually take up, Vida?” inquired Farm Girl.<br />
<br />
“Enough.” Vida sniffed. “the point is, I'm ready to rock.”<br />
<br />
“I suppose I can perform a highly abbreviated Christmas Present”, said Uncle Mac, “if it comes to that.”<br />
<br />
“Agnes? George? Are your spirits also ready?” said Delacroix<br />
<br />
“Tip top, Old Girl!” said George Mallory.<br />
<br />
“I need to refresh 'em.” contributed Aunt Agnes, brandishing an empty bottle of Old Granddad.<br />
<br />
“That would seem to be unanimous”, Delacroix observed, before anyone else had time to speak.<br />
<br />
“Me first”, said Vida G, picking up a white cardboard box and
vanishing with a muffled “whoomp” into a suddenly activated wormhole<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmmfX0zrM0hVv2aeg3goyoHZyMGx3XKArycNTYB2fid9ti-iYBWw4JxxNyKy3GQCLqKR1K85V94AdW2y2KwNQuuZBLUptqmP7MF4sR5ZYaAgI9pnimi_qcRf9OBUW5yqumaqj1esKQG8Ko/s1600/vida-guerra-christmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmmfX0zrM0hVv2aeg3goyoHZyMGx3XKArycNTYB2fid9ti-iYBWw4JxxNyKy3GQCLqKR1K85V94AdW2y2KwNQuuZBLUptqmP7MF4sR5ZYaAgI9pnimi_qcRf9OBUW5yqumaqj1esKQG8Ko/s1600/vida-guerra-christmas.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>5</b></div>
<br />
<br />
Violet woke from a sound sleep. She had deliberately turned in early
to avoid the various spookly visitations which Little Periwinkle had
promised her.<br />
<br />
She had been awakened by Samba music, played at high volume.<br />
<br />
“Oh bloody hell” she thought “Periwinkle was right.”<br />
<br />
Her bedroom door burst open and centered in the doorway a ultra curvy
elf lass wearing a Santa cap and not much else was dancing like the
practice was going to be made illegal soon. She carried a cardboard box.<br />
<br />
“Who are you?” asked Violet, knowing the answer.<br />
<br />
“The Ghost of Christmas Past!” said the elf.<br />
<br />
“You can't be.” Violet said. “If you are of the past then this is your future and you cannot be here. Go away.”<br />
<br />
“Technicalities”, said the elf, “This is for you. It's from YOUR past.”<br />
<br />
She handed Violet the box.<br />
<br />
“Go ahead, open it, it won't bite.”<br />
<br />
Violet did so.<br />
<br />
She stared at the contents in horror.<br />
<br />
“Puh”, she said, “PINEAPPLE!”<br />
<br />
She dived from her bed, impacting the wall with authority. Lacking
anywhere else to go she scrambled underneath the four poster. She
squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting the detonation.<br />
<br />
Nothing happened. <br />
<br />
When she opened them the elf girl was leaning over the bed, looking
at her with evident surprise. Even upside down and astonished she was
very cute.<br />
<br />
“Why are you trying to kill me?” Violet asked.<br />
<br />
“What are you talking about, you silly woman?” said the elf. “it's just candy.”<br />
<br />
“It's a bomb!”<br />
<br />
“No it isn't. It's a pineapple. Made from marzipan.”<br />
<br />
“YES, but!” squeaked Violet, rather loudly for a squeak, “There is a bomb inside it! I know there is!”<br />
<br />
“Ah-HAH! Well that is the point. You used a marzipan pineapple to blow up that creep John Daily...<br />
<br />
“Yearly” said Vida<br />
<br />
“Yearly schmearly. Anyway you blew him up and really did not give a
hoot that you had done so. There is steel in you, Violet, and yet you
pretend there is not. This must change.”<br />
<br />
“That is my message.”<br />
<br />
“At any rate there is nothing inside this marzipan pineapple except more really good marzipan. Enjoy!”<br />
<br />
And with that, the elf disappeared.<br />
<br />
“There's an s-load of dust kitties under this bed”, Violet thought as she wriggled out from under it “I really should vacuum.”<br />
<br />
Against her better judgment, she nibbled some marzipan.<br />
<br />
It was magically good.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2a_dCuswQKraA2wMOGkj5NR0RWBbQTLfBgQ5E6JVytbYdRloj3JloiEfOL98d4USGYj2W9sjMK4M5W6hZ768Z302AQn8Lmh29YMKWwTcKOjgIHAHERxyfACOi5guyVjVUR88bHyf98ZeF/s1600/bad+santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2a_dCuswQKraA2wMOGkj5NR0RWBbQTLfBgQ5E6JVytbYdRloj3JloiEfOL98d4USGYj2W9sjMK4M5W6hZ768Z302AQn8Lmh29YMKWwTcKOjgIHAHERxyfACOi5guyVjVUR88bHyf98ZeF/s1600/bad+santa.jpg" height="187" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>6 </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Satiated with marzipan Violet was snuggled under her covers trying to
get back to sleep when she heard a noise. A loud “whump” sort of noise.
It sounded like it originated in the living room.<br />
<br />
The”whump” was followed by a spell of urgent coughing.<br />
<br />
Violet, feeling unaccustomedly irritable, swung out from beneath the
sheets, put on her terrycloth bathrobe and stalked into the living room.<br />
<br />
She was greeted by the vision of a large man in worn overalls and
work boots, wearing a checked shirt. He was sporting a fake Santa beard
and, as seemed de rigueur for the evenings festivities, a Santa cap. A
large sack was at his feet.<br />
<br />
Each time he coughed he expelled a cloud of dark soot.<br />
<br />
Spotting Violet he held up one finger, reached into his sack, extracted a pint bottle of Yukon Jack, and drank deeply.<br />
<br />
The coughing subsided.<br />
<br />
“When”, he wheezed, “Is the last time you had that chimney cleaned?”<br />
<br />
“1992” said Violet, “You are?”<br />
<br />
“The Ghost of Christmas Present, of course!”<br />
<br />
“Bull.” said Violet. You are Angus MacCaskel. I've seen your picture.”<br />
<br />
The Ghost brightened.<br />
<br />
“In “Philanthropists Monthly?”<br />
<br />
Violet shook her head.<br />
<br />
“No. In the Post Office.”<br />
<br />
“Well”, said the Ghost, “you are mistaken. I am the Ghost of
Christmas Present. You can tell by my ghostly manifestation – he bent to
his sack, dumping its contents on the floor, revealing a gaily wrapped
package – and by the fact that I bring you a Present.”<br />
<br />
“The last spirit told that you have steel in your soul. This gift may help you when you find your inner strength.”<br />
<br />
With that, and with a final cough, The ghost disappeared.<br />
<br />
Violet nudged the package with one toe. She was not sure she wanted whatever was inside.<br />
<br />
Curiosity is a powerful motivator, however, and eventually she tore
the paper, split the tape and opened the box. She saw a thick layer of
seed packets. Beneath those was a flattened box, rather heavy.<br />
<br />
Opening it, she found a Colt Python .357 magnum revolver, with pink and white
grips decorated with exquisitely hand painted violets. It featured a
six-inch barrel. Four speed loaders were included, although Violet did
not recognize them for what they were.<br />
<br />
Beneath the revolver was a hand tooled holster, and beneath that 200 rounds of ammo.<br />
Violet sighed.<br />
<br />
She had no interest in this “present”.<br />
<br />
She would simply need to find a discreet, simple and effective way to get rid of it.<br />
<br />
Except for the seeds, of course.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieAyQv4SFvoEghlg5fWbCwtJAUBSc1pVmEnuh7YL0RRPSpPE3t8FZWAo5hIEKEiU_fskfsOONnFHDSd-BPWFBWNcDRhUHilYKe6ysVFQRYmQem_P9XzsrCCHZ0RCNBRvZARDQq78Sq4H1D/s1600/hillbilly+chick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieAyQv4SFvoEghlg5fWbCwtJAUBSc1pVmEnuh7YL0RRPSpPE3t8FZWAo5hIEKEiU_fskfsOONnFHDSd-BPWFBWNcDRhUHilYKe6ysVFQRYmQem_P9XzsrCCHZ0RCNBRvZARDQq78Sq4H1D/s1600/hillbilly+chick.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>7 </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Crawling back beneath her warm sheets during a lull in the series of
spectral home invasions Violet drifted off to a pleasant slumber,
untroubled save for a protracted and detailed dream. In it she found
herself on the dance floor of a Victorian Great House, decorated for an
old fashioned Christmas party. The gay throng closely resembled
characters from a Dickens novel.<br />
<br />
Musicians played a lively reel and Violet was being swirled 'round
the floor by a tall, slim but firmly muscled dark haired young man who
spoke words which Violet could not quite catch, but which were delivered
in an outdated upper class British accent. He said something to her, a
question Violet thought and smiled at her.<br />
<br />
She smiled in return.<br />
<br />
Suddenly one well tanned hand which had been pressed chastely to the
center of Violet's back slid rather unchastely lower and Violet
discovered, to her astonishment, her left butt cheek gripped in a gentle
but firm grasp.<br />
<br />
She darted a glance left and right. No one in the crowd was paying the slightest attention.<br />
“Well, dammit, it's my dream anyway; I'll pretend I don't notice either.”<br />
<br />
Things were beginning to get interesting when...<br />
<br />
Violet awakened with a jolt.<br />
<br />
Sitting up, she stared around the room wild eyed and frightened.
Something, a noise she thought, had torn her from what was after all, a
very promising dream. All seemed quiet now but then...<br />
<br />
It began. Low at first but then building to a horrid, mighty crescendo.<br />
“zzzzzzZZZOORRNNNNKZchffchffchfffrrrblesqueak”.<br />
<br />
It was coming from the living room.<br />
<br />
It could not possibly have issued from the throat of a normal human
being, nor did any animal with which Violet was familiar make such
discordant and terrifying cries.<br />
<br />
She thought briefly of a huge sentient spider, trying to make itself
understood through a surfeit of mandibles, fangs and dripping venom. She
suppressed the image.<br />
<br />
“aaaiiIIIIIIgugguggugguggugSNORX!”<br />
<br />
It had to be the third spirit. Violet slipped to the bedroom door,
slid it open noiselessly and padded into the living room. Nothing, at
first, seemed amiss but then she noted a smallish and very worn cowboy
boot which presumably contained a foot protruding from the arm of the
coach which stood, it's back to Violet, facing the fireplace. <br />
<br />
“NyahHAHAHAHAHWHERTLnoxnoxnoxwheeee...”<br />
<br />
Violet stepped around the couch to find sprawled there an aged ruin
of a woman in worn jeans, cowboy boots, a denim shirt and, no surprise, a
Santa hat. She clutched an half empty bottle of Jack Daniels to her
breast as a young mother might clasp an infant. An unopened pack of
Camels lay on the floor, where they had dropped from one nerveless hand.<br />
<br />
“ZawwwwXXXXXXwakkawakkawakkaSninx!”<br />
<br />
The hideous noise was the old hag snoring.<br />
<br />
Violet relaxed.<br />
<br />
This was the Ghost of Christmas yet to come? Violet hoped not.<br />
<br />
Seizing the fireplace poker she prodded the sole of the crones boot.<br />
<br />
“HEY!” she said, “Rise and shine!”<br />
<br />
“SNORK?” began the old gal, then her eyes popped open.<br />
<br />
“Who the hell air you a-pokin' thar, Missy?”<br />
<br />
She got to her feet unsteadily, thought for a few seconds.<br />
<br />
“Ah am the Ghost of Christmas Inebriated. Ah brought you some aignog. It's yonder.”<br />
<br />
“Ah made it myself, me an' Milly. Little Periwinkle that is.”<br />
<br />
Violet turned. On the coffee table stood the biggest pitcher she had
ever seen, half filled with a yellowish liquid. A large green bottle
closed with a cork stood next to that. A glass rod was also on the
table, for no apparent reason.<br />
<br />
“What's in it?”<br />
<br />
“Aigs! And some of that nog crap o'course! Why in tarnation d'ya
think we call it aignog? That green bottle is Napoleons Brandy and the
glass stick is to stir it in to the nog with.”<br />
“Now go back to sleep! You got that Ghost of the Future haint to entertain an' ah reckon he's apt to be a mite hard on you.”<br />
<br />
With that she opened the Jack Black bottle, tilted it and began to swallow. As the liquid vanished, so did the drinker.<br />
<br />
Violet was alone again.<br />
<br />
“Crap!” she thought, and not for the first time.<br />
<br />
<br />
“I better put this 'aignog' in the fridge.”<br />
<br />
And that is what she did.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlwETdNVePzYLwQDA8wUToPNWOYcENpOaWyJepq2gF0SPt9-5Ut0lT3eDYRFfBIUTQHL_ptZTHdAddi32jfyCru1hRKlYhoer9XNkJJZdtk9BLGW3nZpXDU4hQPR2t1uQOFh9dyFIv7CIy/s1600/+dancing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlwETdNVePzYLwQDA8wUToPNWOYcENpOaWyJepq2gF0SPt9-5Ut0lT3eDYRFfBIUTQHL_ptZTHdAddi32jfyCru1hRKlYhoer9XNkJJZdtk9BLGW3nZpXDU4hQPR2t1uQOFh9dyFIv7CIy/s1600/+dancing.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>8 A</b> </div>
<br />
No sooner had Violet closed her eyes when she was back in the dream,
with the handsome young man, on the dance floor. But this time, the
dream like quality was absent and she could quite clearly hear what he
was saying.<br />
<br />
“...frightfully pleased to make your acquaintance, Violet. I'm
Mallory as you know but please call me George. I am the Ghost of
Christmas's yet to come.”<br />
<br />
“I thought this was a dream?”<br />
<br />
“Well it is, you see, but then again it isn't. Not exactly.”<br />
<br />
“Oh. I do see”, said Violet, who didn't. “I know the name Mallory.
There was a famous mountain climber by that name. He climbed mount
Everest about 100 years ago and vanished in the mist forever. Any
relation?'<br />
<br />
“Quite a close one, actually. And it was only 90 years ago. And he
only vanished for 75 years. They found him, perfectly preserved in 1999
you know.”<br />
<br />
“I didn't know.”<br />
<br />
Violet was quiet for a bit.<br />
<br />
“Do you think he reached the top, George? Edmund Hillary always gets the credit, 1953 I believe, nearly 30 years later.”<br />
<br />
“Oh, I made the top right enough. First I summited, then I plummeted
and no one will ever know for certain what happened, except for me and
the fellow who rescued me.”<br />
<br />
“Rescue?”, murmured Violet, “who could rescue you from the summit of
the world's tallest mountain and if you were rescued why did you and
your partner dissapear?”<br />
<br />
“I think you are fibbing, Mr. Mallory and it is unbecoming of you.”<br />
<br />
“I understand your thinking sweet girl. But the fellow who rescued me
was in fact the chap who appeared as the Ghost of Christmas Present,
Uncle Mac, Angus MacCaskel, time and space traveler and Patriarch of
Uncle Mac's Garden Shed.”<br />
<br />
I was 600 feet beneath the summit, trying to work my way back down
but I was out of oxygen and losing coordination and my mental faculties
when a hole opened in space and time and MacCaskel pulled me through it
to safety, just before I would have fallen, snapped my leg and punched a
hole through my own skull with my ice axe as I tried to stop my slide.”<br />
<br />
“Later he went back to where my body ended after the fall, had I in
fact fallen, and placed the fallen body of yet another George Mallory in
just the spot where it would be found in 1975. The body is from another
closely paralleled universe but in that universe I never will be found,
as I have vanished for good from that timeline.”<br />
<br />
“It can be complicated.”<br />
<br />
“Too complicated for me, Mr. Mallory, right at the moment,” whispered Violet.<br />
<br />
They danced quietly for a brief time and then Mallory broke that silence.<br />
<br />
“I say, Violet, have you explored this great pile of a house as yet?
Quite the museum you know. One never knows what one might find.”<br />
<br />
“I've got a pretty good idea.” said Violet. “let's go.”<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYf5I7FD4WeJQ1dGvLuhFm0Tz4vOohi9fQPxEMd46qd4Atiaid3NGVZUMag35NNspGvRpkd5g-Fe9aq5QoqSxTZDHx5ZTf0GvGJIXJ8hDMLTBAAxmHtp2QZ_rKENaAbAPZA8kYDqFGna-3/s1600/tired-man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYf5I7FD4WeJQ1dGvLuhFm0Tz4vOohi9fQPxEMd46qd4Atiaid3NGVZUMag35NNspGvRpkd5g-Fe9aq5QoqSxTZDHx5ZTf0GvGJIXJ8hDMLTBAAxmHtp2QZ_rKENaAbAPZA8kYDqFGna-3/s1600/tired-man.jpg" height="168" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> 8B</b> <b></b> </div>
<br />
The revelery at the shed was winding down a bit when a wormhole
popped in the garden outside. The door creaked open and George Mallory
crept through it. He was carrying his shoes, jacket and tie. His shirt
was open to his waist. There were violet lipstick stains on his cheeks,
lips, forehead, nose and chest where it showed through the open shirt.<br />
<br />
One could extrapolate to other locations but of course one was above doing so.<br />
<br />
Mallory walked a bit stooped over, gingerly; as might a man just
pulled from a car wreck or who had perhaps, fallen from a mountain. He
collapsed into the nearest hay stack. He was handed a cold beer which he
accepted gratefully and drained.<br />
<br />
“Tough work out, old man?” said Jack the Ripper amiably.<br />
<br />
“You have no idea”, croaked Mallory, somehow summoning the strength to grin.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXJ5eujhxGf6bIbhPRFfdpNhml_ywqEwogCboG6-Jc3d927WjTFAw3bYNMNtC2nmWDnx9xzUi_B9swpcIsIhDAPShvNVxSQ2xNrtWf605lqVrPfoRfo8rrlBVOmexUKtDBMB7vIIpUyFSn/s1600/better-sex-female-workout-ex.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXJ5eujhxGf6bIbhPRFfdpNhml_ywqEwogCboG6-Jc3d927WjTFAw3bYNMNtC2nmWDnx9xzUi_B9swpcIsIhDAPShvNVxSQ2xNrtWf605lqVrPfoRfo8rrlBVOmexUKtDBMB7vIIpUyFSn/s1600/better-sex-female-workout-ex.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>8C </b></div>
<br />
<br />
Violet woke from a sound sleep, the sun pouring in heralded
midmorning, Christmas Day. She hopped from between the sheets and
stretched. She could not remember when she had felt better. But those
peculiar dreams...<br />
<br />
She turned to the dresser and froze.<br />
<br />
There, on a paper plate sat most of a marzipan pineapple, a fork, and a knife.<br />
<br />
“Oh.” she said, “Shit.”<br />
<br />
Tiptoeing past the suspect confection she pried open the bedroom door
and peeped into the living room. There beneath the tree were seed
packets, a very large handgun (with pretty grips) a holster and ammo
boxes. Next to the couch lay a pack of Camels. Entering completely she
spied the expected green bottle and glass stirring rod.<br />
<br />
She had no doubt but that a thaumaturgical Pie could be found on the
kitchen counter and enchanted “aignog” located in the fridge.<br />
<br />
Which meant, of course...<br />
<br />
“Well”, she reasoned aloud, “Christmas comes but once a year. Mallory and me, on the other hand...”<br />
<br />
For some reason she found herself blushing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<header class="post-header" style="background-image: url('http://bubblews-images-news-cover.s3.amazonaws.com/cover-pf100089bed6b14b3f52ef920e_640.jpg');">
<div class="post-info-wrap">
<div class="post-info">
<h1 class="post-title">
Violet says "Oops!" </h1>
<h2 class="post-author">
by <a href="http://www.bubblews.com/account/37787">Mac Pike, &MacPike</a></h2>
</div>
<div class="post-meta">
<ul class="post-meta-list">
<li><a href="http://www.bubblews.com/news/likes/9737463">17 likes</a></li>
<li>4 comments</li>
<li><a href="http://www.bubblews.com/news/delete/9737463">Delete</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</header>
<br />
<div class="page-meta">
<div class="page-meta-left">
<ul class="shares-horizontal">
<li class="share-facebook">
<div class="fb-like fb_iframe_widget" data-action="like" data-href="http://www.bubblews.com/news/9737463-violet-says-quotoopsquot" data-layout="button_count" data-share="false" data-show-faces="false">
<span style="height: 20px; vertical-align: bottom; width: 76px;"></span></div>
</li>
<li class="share-twitter">
</li>
<li class="share-google">
</li>
<li class="share-pinterest">
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-21067710556831342372014-10-04T17:02:00.001-07:002014-10-04T17:02:29.600-07:00Cheese-headed girl<article class="post-content content">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiANFbnOsYxMeOqHDknqjYTLeeN4dD133y3hEil25OL8AhHbqV4E66sOLZkIVMMnfEbIXVAgOOx_HM5lKfjKUFNdYGMnc63v8r_9feTXUu6fvXkdb42XiXLmz9cbMqzJbXzREVvy9Z9p15M/s1600/packer+gal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiANFbnOsYxMeOqHDknqjYTLeeN4dD133y3hEil25OL8AhHbqV4E66sOLZkIVMMnfEbIXVAgOOx_HM5lKfjKUFNdYGMnc63v8r_9feTXUu6fvXkdb42XiXLmz9cbMqzJbXzREVvy9Z9p15M/s1600/packer+gal.jpg" height="174" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wanna live<br />with a cheese headed girl<br />I could be happy<br />Watching the Pack<br />With a cheese headed girl.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A dreamer of playoffs,<br />I run to the store<br />to pick up cold brewskis<br />hot pizza and more<br />For my cheese headed girl.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Third down and fifteen<br />Alack and alas<br />But Rodgers is tossing<br />He'll pick up a first<br />for my cheese headed girl.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Our Super Bowl party <br />Is the best that there is<br />So festive and hearty<br />Because of Cheese-whiz<br />And my cheese headed girl.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When the title's been won<br />And the guests are all gone<br />I'll sit at the keyboard<br />And type fiction upon<br />A cheese-headed girl</span></span><br />
</article>Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-6178837867232446472014-09-06T16:08:00.001-07:002014-09-06T16:11:02.422-07:00The Fear of the Cat<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWgVD37GVSz6uRubcqJoKtguv9w3kLf8v2TFAeNWAHVIyI4TsF6fZTLRd-nCE-dLwpI5VvLorLHG8cQTROohQOChhOAK9ijEiU0Ct3RHhNRx6_3B2vWGb2zRJTKQHiujiaoW8UhoZPG-_O/s1600/lioness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWgVD37GVSz6uRubcqJoKtguv9w3kLf8v2TFAeNWAHVIyI4TsF6fZTLRd-nCE-dLwpI5VvLorLHG8cQTROohQOChhOAK9ijEiU0Ct3RHhNRx6_3B2vWGb2zRJTKQHiujiaoW8UhoZPG-_O/s1600/lioness.jpg" height="221" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">On a morning on the Serengeti</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$1:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$2:0">Where native cats are big and bold</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$3:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$4:0">You go strolling through the bush like Squire Trelawney</span></span><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$1:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$2:0">Seeking piratized gold</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$3:0" /><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$5:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$6:0">She comes out of the grass and her mass is stunning</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$7:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0">Like a freight train running 'cross the flat</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$9:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$10:0">Don't bother reaching; you have no weapons</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$11:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0">And you know it's much too late</span><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$13:0" /><br data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$15:0" /><span data-reactid=".2k.1:3:1:$comment10152656743307381_10152656763707381:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$16:0">For the fear of the cat</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-62986020918565242732014-08-01T14:47:00.002-07:002014-08-01T14:47:56.014-07:00It won't be long now...<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">August 23, 2014 is bearing down upon us like Chuck Schummer on a microphone, have you made your plans to visit Buttzville, NJ for the 3rd annual "Best Butts in Buttzville" festival?</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMNmKU7FZBXMh7DP1dZnEchHeKL14-gG6g0Iy-wMuDSdGSp8Dzns9bjiOzshTLuzDyIW13w3-fMV9qO9jW0R8yrN7rhRHg27aWDD6eT9cFvgAxYws4COR8J7jCIP9G2A4m09UJV_tySI8G/s1600/sophie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMNmKU7FZBXMh7DP1dZnEchHeKL14-gG6g0Iy-wMuDSdGSp8Dzns9bjiOzshTLuzDyIW13w3-fMV9qO9jW0R8yrN7rhRHg27aWDD6eT9cFvgAxYws4COR8J7jCIP9G2A4m09UJV_tySI8G/s1600/sophie.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We cannot guarantee that this particular butt will be in attendance, but one never knows, do one? </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span> <br />
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4464958188323242423.post-16040712729071397932014-06-10T20:00:00.001-07:002014-06-10T20:00:22.639-07:002014 Best Butts in Buttzville Festival
<style type="text/css">P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }</style>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KAWB4KPZOxM52EDPosjP076PXz679B24X1n-TWx7husfeBtGIlhebCh3EA2MoQhW2wgBXXmGjCZrpk3RcorHUHmFaoLio7fRKAznT-juSeEdrAyyqQ4U_LhncOla8GVphwl88VM5XRNC/s1600/jenLselterelitedaily2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KAWB4KPZOxM52EDPosjP076PXz679B24X1n-TWx7husfeBtGIlhebCh3EA2MoQhW2wgBXXmGjCZrpk3RcorHUHmFaoLio7fRKAznT-juSeEdrAyyqQ4U_LhncOla8GVphwl88VM5XRNC/s1600/jenLselterelitedaily2.png" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Where
will you be August 23rd, 2014? If you are smart you will be in
Buttzville New Jersey for the “Best Butts in Buttzville”
Festival. </span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In
its third year the event is clandestine, underground, unsanctioned,
unheralded, steatopygian and a lot of fun.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There
is no admission fee.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There
are no “officially sanctioned events” at all BUTT! You can can
participate in the photography event (The Glute Shoot) or a running
event (The 5K or until we stop running traffic stopper), the
Thong-a-Thon, the “May I butt in” and other unsanctioned events.
<br /><br />And of course the totally spurious “Miss Best Butt in
Buttzville” Pageant. (NO talent segment, we've learned our lesson.)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There
are no official grounds but as long as you eat tons of hot dogs and
don't ask for kraut, you might want to start at Hot Dawg Johny's on
Rte. 46. Just don't clog the lot.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bring
your butts.</span></span></div>
Mac Pikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07309011587523287966noreply@blogger.com0