Tom Brady's balls were firm and hard and thus difficult to clutch
He tried smearing them with sticky stuff, (it didn't help that much)
Tom did some research and he discovered, (Imagine his elation)
That he could grip his balls just right with just the right deflation
And when he gripped his balls just right he could throw them down the field
To all of his receivers wide, and force the foe to yield
But the NFL drew up a rule and it's enforcement strongly urge-ed
That balls may not be placed in play unless they're fully turgid.
Tom really tried to find a way to ease the pressure in his balls
And wandered through his rooms by day and nightly through his halls
He called upon the football Gods to drain his balls real good
But only his mate , a super model, heard (and misunderstood)
And so she lay in wait for Tom and did so not in vain
And each time Tommy hove in view his balls she'd truly drain
Now Tom's accused of cheating by football, not Gisele
And they may not even let him play; consigned to football hell
"Be careful what you wish for", I heard poor Tommy say
For with his balls so truly drained he's far too tired to play.
