Ah there it is, Buttzville, NJ, a very small pimple on the otherwise bloated ass of the State of New Jersey. Located on Route 46 just a few miles east of the Delaware Water Gap, a tiny residential backwater rendered insignificant by the creation of Interstate Rte. 80 which whizzes on by without ever leaking a tourist, a hungry diner or a gasoline seeker.
Buttzville boasts - reluctantly in both cases I suspect - a Post Office and a hot dog stand.
Can you guess which one is which?
That's ok it's more or less irrelevant.
Buttzville, such as it is pretty much blossoms along the route of the Pequest River. The river was named with more foresight than I'm sure the founders knew, because the only reason a person sound in mind and body would leave interstate 80 at that point would be in quest of a place to Pe. In this quest they are for the most part doomed, save for the roadside bushes.
Oh but not on Saturday, the 25th of August, 2012 when Buttzville New Jersey proudly hosts - well as proudly as they can without their prior knowledge or consent - the very first annual BEST BUTTS IN BUTTZVILLE competition and hootenanny!
The hamlet will EXPLODE into a vast phantasmagoria of world class - and I fear, a few substandard - BUTTS!
But ladies and gennemuns, we need your help here! Make this thing go viral! Facebook, MySpace, any other social site, Pinterest, Twitter, Stumble, your own Blog - WHATEVA!
Let the word go forth; and bring your butts to Buttzville August 25 2012!
Will there be celebrity butts? Could be, could be.
We do not actually know the schedule of the curvilicious Natalin Avci. We could not swear in a court of law that she will NOT be in Buttsville on the 25th of August, 2012!! Only one way to find out!
Farm Girl might be there, possibly, one can't be certain. And why be negative on the subject after all?
And butt me no butts when it comes to the lovely Kim Kardashian! Would she be bringing up the rear when it comes to great butts? I think not. Although there is at this point no commitment, Miss K has a sense of humor about these things and just MIGHT show up, if only she hears of the event!
(Are you posting, yet?)
Vida Guerra? Well. Difficult to say for certain, but, 'eyyy, postulating an infinite universe, anything is after all, possible!
BUTT! We need your help to make it happen! Bring your own butt, your girl friends butt, her girlfriends butt and the stripper you met in Linden last week!
Tell the entire butt-lovin' world where you plan to be on that great and festive day!
Folks, not to put too fine a point on it we need more butts in Buttzville on 8-25-2012 than there are assholes in Washington! And that is one heckuva a lot of butts!
There will, of course, be local talent...
The quality of which is apt to vary.
Butt does that really matter in the greater scheme of things? We think not. Get out there August 25th and show the entire world* what you've got.
*The entire world, as it relates to Buttzville. And of course, youtube.
DISCLAIMER: Seeds and Weeds and it's peeps assume absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens, has happened or will happen anywhere or at anytime, in any place.
