We arrive at the various components of the Glory scale by measuring Glory from bowsprit to mizzenmast, as one would a prize trout. Arriving at 4' 11" we then, as friends are obligated to do, ignore the validity of our own measurements and adopt (against all evidence to the contrary) the absurdly over stretched figure of 5 ft. 1.5 inches English which Glory steadfastly claims as her height.
We then divide (not literally) the basic Glory into 60 individual units called "green thumbs" or "greenies" by the dull witted and US Senators.
60 green thumbs = 1 Glory
12 green thumbs = 1 weeder
5 weeders = 1 Glory!
Note the marvelous simplicity of it all!
30 green thumbs = 1 semi-Glory, or,
2 1/2 weeders!
Now then, for the old odometer, we will require an ode
who said "Thank God?"
1000 Glories = 1 gardener
5000 weeders - 1 gardener
2000 semi - Glories
(A gardener therefore being 97% of an English mile or 5125 ft.)
Now then, just to be bastids we'll toss in two more arcane measurements, the "shorty", and the "Indricotherium", generally shortened to "Indi"
10 shorties = 1 Glory
5 shorties = 1 semi-Glory
There are 10,000 shorties in a gardener
5 Glories = 1 Indi
25 weeders = 1 Indi
There are 200 Indies in a gardener!
What could be simpler? Not a whole helluva lot I'm thinking. Stay tuned as we delve into weight, volume and units of time (Glory Daze!) Thrill to learn that 5 cubic Glories = 1 Hawgweed, and 5 english gallons = 1 Hawgshead. There will be a test so study the material!