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Monday, August 6, 2012

THE MOMENTUM BUILDS...


Buttzville, NJ, unwittingly hosts the "Best Butts in Buttzville" contest August 25, 2012.



Vida has a truly great butt.


Hot dog Johnny's is located in Buttzville.


Vida likes hot dogs!

This will be the day that finally puts Buttzville on the map! Be there, or you know what you will be!

DISCLAIMER: Seeds and Weeds and its peeps assume absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens, has happened or will happen anywhere or at anytime, in any place for any reason. We are never responsible, and only rarely are we coherent.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

TAKE A FAST TRAIN TO BUTTZVILLE



Take a fast train to Buttzville
In New Jerseys Northwest region
There's a tookus contest happening there
and things are steatopygian
So won't you go?
Oh wo wo wo!
Oh wo wo wo!

Its the 25th of August
In sunshine or in rain
There will be wardrobe malfunctions
'cause those seams are under strain
and you know that's true
Oh woo woo woo!
  Oh woo woo woo!


DISCLAIMER: Seeds and Weeds and its peeps assume absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens, has happened or will happen anywhere or at anytime, in any place for any reason. We are never responsible, and only rarely are we coherent.

Friday, August 3, 2012

ICE FISHING!


As we swelter through another steamy summer it may be pleasant to look forwards to one of the cooler and more charming winter pastimes...



Erm. Perhaps neither that cool nor that charming. We are speaking of ice fishing here! Isn't that cool and charming enough for a hot afternoon?



An ode therefore! To the dauntless brethren and cistern of the ice auger!

Ice Fishin'

You may shoot a round of golf with your goofy neighbor Rolf,
or smack handballs 'round until your fingers bleed.
You may pump your mountain bike up the peak named after Pike,
and I'm sure we'll all applaud the mighty deed.


You may hunt the antlered moose, you may perforate a goose,
or with bow in hand confront the ring necked pheasant.
But a sportsman's not a hero t'il he fishes in sub-zero
temperatures that lesser men would find unpleasant.

There is nothing quite as nice as to lumber 'cross the ice
when the northern lights are shimmering o'er the pole.
With your tip-ups and your thermos and frost bitten epidermis
and a double headed axe to chop the hole.

On your upturned spacklin' pail there you'll squat through sleet and hail,
and snow so deep that folks can't see your hat.
And some may call you "nuts", and some "a silly putz",
but you're a proud ice fishin' man for all of that.


Though you've never caught a trout and never will, I doubt,
that the prospect of a catch is what will tug ya,
to the frozen lake each season; no you do it for the reason,
it's the only place your spouse won't go to bug ya.



©2012 Mac Pike All Rights Reserved

 

Friday, July 27, 2012

WILL THERE BE CHEERLEADERS IN BUTTZVILLE?

On August 25th for the "Best Butts in Buttzville" event? Why would there not be?




Such a silly, silly question, actually!



DISCLAIMER: Seeds and Weeds and its peeps assume absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens, has happened or will happen anywhere or at anytime, in any place for any reason. We are not responsible, and rarely are we coherent.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

BUTTZVILLE, AUGUST 25, 2012




Best Butts in Buttzville makes Woodstock look eminently forgettable. Be there or you'll have to explain why you were not to your embarrassed grandchildren one day. Butt us no butts!





















Except, possibly, this one.




That is all.

DISCLAIMER: Seeds and Weeds and it's peeps assume absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens, has happened or will happen anywhere or at anytime, in any place

Saturday, July 21, 2012

BEST BUTTS IN BUTTZVILLE CELEBRATION AND COMPETITION!!



Ah there it is, Buttzville, NJ, a very small pimple on the otherwise bloated ass of the State of New Jersey. Located on Route 46 just a few miles east of the Delaware Water Gap, a tiny residential backwater rendered insignificant by the creation of Interstate Rte. 80 which whizzes on by without ever leaking a tourist, a hungry diner or a gasoline seeker.

Buttzville boasts - reluctantly in both cases I suspect - a Post Office and a hot dog stand.



Can you guess which one is which?



That's ok it's more or less irrelevant.

Buttzville, such as it is pretty much blossoms along the route of the Pequest River. The river was named with more foresight than I'm sure the founders knew, because the only reason a person sound in mind and body would leave interstate 80 at that point would be in quest of a place to Pe. In this quest they are for the most part doomed, save for the roadside bushes.

Oh but not on Saturday, the 25th of August, 2012 when Buttzville New Jersey proudly hosts - well as proudly as they can without their prior knowledge or consent - the very first annual BEST BUTTS IN BUTTZVILLE competition and hootenanny!

The hamlet will EXPLODE into a vast phantasmagoria of world class - and I fear, a few substandard - BUTTS!

But ladies and gennemuns, we need your help here! Make this thing go viral! Facebook, MySpace, any other social site, Pinterest, Twitter, Stumble, your own Blog - WHATEVA! 

Let the word go forth; and bring your butts to Buttzville August 25 2012!

Will there be celebrity butts? Could be, could be.







We do not actually know the schedule of the curvilicious Natalin Avci. We could not swear in a court of law that she will NOT be in Buttsville on the 25th of August, 2012!! Only one way to find out!














Farm Girl might be there, possibly, one can't be certain. And why be negative on the subject after all?












And butt me no butts when it comes to the lovely Kim Kardashian! Would she be bringing up the rear when it comes to great butts? I think not. Although there is at this point no commitment, Miss K has a sense of humor about these things and just MIGHT show up, if only she hears of the event!

(Are you posting, yet?)









Vida Guerra? Well. Difficult to say for certain, but, 'eyyy, postulating an infinite universe, anything is after all, possible!


BUTT! We need your help to make it happen! Bring your own butt, your girl friends butt, her girlfriends butt and the stripper you met in Linden last week!

Tell the entire butt-lovin' world where you plan to be on that great and festive day!

Folks, not to put too fine a point on it we need more butts in Buttzville on 8-25-2012 than there are assholes in Washington! And that is one heckuva a lot of butts!

There will, of course, be local talent...











The quality of which is apt to vary.


Butt does that really matter in the greater scheme of things? We think not. Get out there August 25th  and show the entire world* what you've got.

*The entire world, as it relates to Buttzville. And of course, youtube.

DISCLAIMER: Seeds and Weeds and it's peeps assume absolutely no responsibility for anything that happens, has happened or will happen anywhere or at anytime, in any place.



Saturday, June 16, 2012

NURSERY RIMES OF THE ANCIENT MARINER



OLD FATHER HUBBARD

























WENT TO HIS CUPBOARD























IN HOPES OF A NICE BREAKFAST BUN















BUT TO HIS DESPAIR ONLY CRUMBS REMAINED THERE!

















SO INSTEAD THE OLD FELLOW HAD NUN.
Yes, that's his story and he's sticking to it, and when you get right down to it, who could blame the old gentleman, really.

And let's face it, you saw this one coming the second you glimpsed the opening line, didn't you? But you looked all the way through anyway because that's how you are. Well this time it paid off because it seems the good man enjoyed the first one so much he had another! (Kind of like Chinese food, these breakfast Nuns)

 
And since then its no more cinnamon buns at breakfast time for the dear man; he's lost tons of weight, (and considerable respect among certain but by no means all elements within the community), has a twinkle in his eye, a bounce in his step and is in every way a lot more fun to be around. Well nasty habits are like that, don't you think?